Not Me! Monday

My last Not Me! Monday post was amazingly therapeutic... and these kind of posts come to me faster than any others.  I'm not sure what that says about me or my ability to jump on self-deprecating posts... but I'll just roll with the punches here:

Dave and I do not get out for one date every fall.  We are totally a couple who are always socially active, and have the need to be seen everywhere.  We would never combine our anniversary (September) and my birthday (October) AND his birthday (November) into one date.  Not us! We are a pampered couple, and must have a date night at least once a week in order to feel connected.  We always have an unlimited monthly budget for babysitters and social activities.  And on that once-every-fall-date, we would NEVER combine it with parent/teacher conferences.  Nope!  Not us!  We are not so cheap that we would only want to pay a sitter for one night rather than two.  Heck no!  And on this once-a-fall-date, I would not have stumbled on our way into the restaurant rendering my left foot immobile.  Not me!  I am always graceful, and would never struggle to stand upright on our once-a-fall date!  Nothing says "sexy date night" like curriculum questions and a good solid limp.



I am always the epitome of planning ahead, and would never have to quick run to the grocery store when expecting a friend over within the hour.  Nope!  Not me!  I always do all my shopping once a week after combing over our calendar and planning everything down to the most minute detail.  And on the took-too-long-shopping-trip that never happened, I did not do the unthinkable and lock my toddler in the car with my keys.  I would not have accidentally hit the "lock" button on the toggle while strapping her in the car seat. I would never close all the doors to the car before taking the cart to the back of the van to load our groceries.  I would never yell through the window asking BabyL. to wiggle out of her seat only for her to realize she was strapped in too tight and start crying. I did not have to call my friend and ask her to go to my house to retrieve our back up toggle to unlock my doors.  Nope!  Not me!  I am a fantastic hostess, and am always ready for my guests, and would never inconvenience my guests to help me and my distressed toddler.  The following picture was never taken:  (side note: thanks, Mel!)

Not Me! Monday- 2015 version

Yes, friends... it's a throw back to some my favorite type of blog post- the Not Me! Monday.  I've had a bunch of self-deprecating blog posts rolling around in my noggin....

                                                                   .....so, I thought I'd air them out for you.

Let's see if Not Me! Monday posts are like riding a bike:


I did not spend a lot of time getting all dolled up for the first day of MOPS last month.  I did not treat it like the first day of school.  I did not lay out clothing the night before, and in my true-to-free spirit self, I did not forget to make sure that I had clean undergarments to wear to this not at all important day of the year.  I did not get out of the shower that morning to realize that I had zero clean underwear.  I am always on top of the laundry situation in our house.  I am never in need of clean undergarments (and neither are my kids and husband... never). Furthermore, I am never behind on housekeeping, in general.  I have a cleaning schedule, and I always stick to it.  I did not end up wearing maternity underwear to MOPS that day.  Nope!  Not me!  Not only do I always have clean underwear in my drawer, I always rotate obsolete clothing out of my closet at the first opportunity.  Never would I have maternity underwear in my closet when I haven't been pregnant in.... almost three years.

I would never yell at my boys for using baby-talk to converse with my or their friends.  This is not my ultimate pet-peeve.  Furthermore, I would never commit the parenting-cardinal sin by talking about my eldest's baby-talking in the kitchen when I did not know his friend was still sitting in our living room.  Nope!  I would never embarrass my son by speaking about him in front of his friends.  Since this conversation never happened, I would not feel like the biggest heel in the world.  And later, I would not hope that this faux-pas wouldn't turn into something positive by having said friend pour on some innocent peer pressure to get him to stop baby talking.  Dave and I always allow baby-talking in our kids, and we always talk like that to each other.  We encourage our kid to talk this way, and do not appreciate all the years sweet A went through speech therapy. We did not work for years and years to get his muscles to move correctly in his mouth only to encourage lazy speech.  After all, forty year old men who speak in baby-talk are always the first guys to get the dream job, right? 


I would never wear a pair of shoes that always cause blisters on my fourth toes.  Not me!  I am a sensible girl who always wears sensible shoes.  I would never give up comfort for vanity.  I did not end up in sock-feet while waiting for the kids to finish singing at church.  Nope!  I always make the smartest choices for my feet.  And I certainly wouldn't scream at the dog the next morning for running across my blistered toe.  I would never scream at my dog for something she doesn't understand, and I certainly wouldn't blame my unconditionally loving pet for my own poor leather-bound foot-covering choices.


Well, I'm totally feeling better for my non-confessions.  What sort of things did you not do these past few months???

Not Me....Nope!

I really enjoy a good Not Me! Monday.  I really feel as though it's therapy and helps me realize that other mom's out there are just as scatter-brained or not-together just like me.  So, what say you...on with a Not Me! Monday!

-  I did not double....(or actually triple) book a day this week.  When one thing obviously trumps all others...resulting in a few disappointing emails to friends to reschedule.  Nope!  Certainly, I have it all together, and use the calendar on my fridge or the planner on my phone religiously.  I have it all together and am totally organized with my time.

- I did not threaten my children "no wii for a week" in order to get them to turn off the lights as they leave the room.  First of all, I would NEVER use screen time for bribery, (we don't have screen time in this house at all- screens rot brains....sha!)......and FURTHERMORE, I would never bribe my children.  Obviously, I have raised my children to be obedient "just for the joy of being an obedient child" and they are fantastic stewards of energy.

-  I did not steal 3 ok, ok...5 Reese's Peanut Butter cups from the Halloween stash.  Nope...certainly, I am on a strict eating plan, and I would never delve into the hard-earned candy stash of my children's labor.  I did not justify this by stating that I'm saving their teacher's from sugar-highed children for the next few days.

-  I did not tell C. that there wasn't enough protein shake mix for him, and then go ahead and make one for myself.  I am not a selfish horrible person and mom.  I do not put my uber narrow eating choices and nutritional needs before his.  Never.  I always choose to starve myself to give my child his whim choice of breakfast foods- even though I know he won't finish it and will spill it all over the car.  I certainly won't do that...bring on the spill!

What things have you not done over the past few weeks?

Not Me! Monday--- rerun the embarassement

I posted this a loooooong time ago.  But someone at church yesterday brought this post up and said that they couldn't find it to read to their spouse....so I thought I'd post it again.

Enjoy.




This is a different kind of Not Me! Monday- I'm mixing it up a bit. Here's a fun, but embarrassing story from the past week.




Last week, I was in a store, and realized I needed to use the restroom right now. So, I brought the boys and the stroller into the woman's restroom where there were two stalls. If the boys are with me, I usually go into the handicapped stall with them so I don't' leave them unattended. But it was occupied, and I had womanly things to do, so I was grateful that I didn't have to answer any questions.



I parked the stroller (and boys) in front of the other stall door (you know, so I can watch them through the huge crack in the door) and proceeded to go about my business. The rest is what you could have heard if you were a fly on the wall in that bathroom:

A: Mom, how long will this take?

Me: A few seconds. Please stay on the sit-and-stand with your brother.

Sound: toot echoing in the toilet bowl

A: Mom....WHAT was that?!?!?

Me: It was a toot. A...can you talk to C about school buses? What color are they?



A: It sounded crazy mom! Like an alien fart!

C: Anien fart!!!

Me: That's enough talking about toots, guys...let's talk about something else.



A: Yeah! Like how much it STINKS in here!!! Wheew, mom...WHAT did you eat?!?!?



Me: A, that's enough. What would you like to eat for lunch today?



A: Not what you ate! You stink sooo bad, mom!!! You're stinkier than daddy!



Me: A, that's enough. What's next on our list of things to do today?



C: ppppp eeeewwwww, momma! You tink!



A: Mom, it stinks so bad in here. Can I go to the toy department and look around so I don't have to smell you?



Me: A, I'm almost done. I'll wash my hands and we'll be on our way.



A: Mom, it stinks so bad, I think I'm going to throw up!



C: Momma- you TINK!!! EEEE WWWWW Ouchie Nose!

Me: That's enough, boys.



A: (gagging )



I finish my business, wash my hands and leave. Then I found a secluded spot in the store, and had a little chat with the boys about bathroom etiquette. You see, I was not the one having a BM that day, it was the woman next to me. I can only imagine what she was thinking. So, yes...this is truly a Not Me! Monday.

Not Me! Monday

Ok, the Not Me! List is so long, I had to post just to get some of them off my chest.

You can click here to see what everyone has not been doing over the past few days, weeks, or (in my case) months.

- I do not regularly give my toddler my cell phone in order to pacify him while I finish some work tasks. I am not aware that he only likes to hit the buttons- and that's what pacifies him. I do not let him accidentally call my friend while she's a work (sorry, Jeanie!) or my PTL co-chair while she's trying to feed her family dinner. (sorry, Melisa!). Nope, not me! I learned my lesson the first time it happened with my friend, Lesley, at her son's birthday party. I would never repeat mistakes, and totally have the utmost respect for my friend and their time.

- I would not, and certainly AM not trying to get my parents to take the boys overnight this week so I can get some work done. I am well aware that they are taking them for two nights next week, and would never push the envelope (or their feeble bones- ha! Hi mom!) to the limit. When A. asked if he could write them a letter today, and he asked me how to spell "sleepover," I did not do so with the biggest smile on my face. ;P

- I do not overcommit myself. I most certainly did not do that for this coming school year. In an effort to get "ahead of the game" by being prepared, I did not totally stress myself (and my already compromised adrenal system) out. I did not have a little breakdown. I did not skip the first MOPS Steering team meeting just to regain some composure and spend some time catching up on work and in prayer. I always understand my limitations, and would never overcommit myself. I would never shirk my responsiblities to my MOPS Steering team, and would never allow myself to get behind at work- so I would never have to play catch up. Not me! I am super woman, hear. me. roar.

- There is not too much month left at the end of the money this month. I am always miserly, and would never spend our teeny discretionary envelope on capri's and a few new shirts (and training underwear, and a magazine, and a smoothie). I did not feel horribly guilty about the capris and shirts that I returned them to purchase the model rocket, engine and fuse that D. wanted to make with the boys this summer. I always think of my family first, and would never put something as shallow as clothing ahead of our quality time and activities with the boys. Besides, I will totally not scope out the clearance racks next month in the hope that I will find said capris there. (insert evil frugal laugh here- BWAHAHAH!!!)

And a few things I most certainly did not say this month:

• C., no, your poopie does not belong on the floor.....it does not belong on the chair....it does not belong on daddy.  Yes, that would be funny, but gross....let's go put it in the potty, ok?  

• C, think of the asparagas as a long candy stick.  Yum!!!  Tastes yummy, huh?  Uh, oh...D, get a bowl, its coming back up...

• No, there's nothing wrong with my toes, A.  They look that way because of a few reasons...1. Mommy is too lazy to change the half grown out nail polish.  2.  Mommy is too broke to get a pedicure and 3.  When mommy was younger she was too foolish and vain to purchase cute shoes in her huge shoe size (11) and bought little shoes that were on sale, and then she was even more not smart and went out dancing in the all night long....and it messed up mommy's toes......  Yes, that's why mommy is always checking your feet and shoes.

• The other frog?  Oh...looks like he died.....  Yes, it does look like he's been dead for a few days (weeks?).....No, I don't remember the last time we fed him....a few days ago (weeks?) probably....I don't know if we'll see him again someday....I don't think frogs go to heaven because they can't have faith....yes, only God really knows.....yes, we'll find out someday....yes, hopefully a long time from now....yes, God truely is awesome.  I love you too, A.

  

Not Me! My fellow grocery shoppers! Monday

Ok, friends...this is going to be a quickie.  FYI:  This momma is tired.  Totally sleep deprived.  (Almost past the point of newborn-sleep deprived....except without that sweet adrenaline rush you get just home from the hospital.  Well, perhaps there was an adrenaline rush in there somewhere....like a holy-crap-my-kid-can't-breathe-and-is-looking-at-me-with-scary-bug-eyes adrenaline rush). 

The family has been hit by a little cold, but for C. (my respiratory babe) its never just a cold.    It hangs on until it mutates into the scary Muppet Show Monster..you know, the one with the big fat lip? 

Yes, well, the monster reared his ugly head at 1am on Sunday morning in the form of a breathing/barking toddler crying for his mommy. 


A few hours of steam in the bathroom and cold outside air, his breathing had calmed to get him to sleep...until 4:45 where it went to barking to inhale and wheezing to exhale.  So, into the steam we went and then a little Albuterol treatment- which did little to help his breathing, but REALLY gave the boy a crazy demeanor for the rest of the day. 

An after-hours Dr. office visit later (upcharges, cha-ching!) , a steriod shot (STAT) later,  and a Dx of acute bronchilitis, he's improving.  He hasn't slept more than a few hours at a time- which means I'm not sleeping at all.  So, in the meantime we're doing 3 neb. treatments a day- which I don't really think help the breathing a ton, but give him the spidey powers to climb the walls and hang from the ceiling.  Have I mentioned I'm tired?

I digress...

Yesterday, during C.'s short nap and while Dave had A. occupied on some science project, I ran quickly to the grocery store.  This had to be the craziest 30 minute trip I've ever had in any store.  So, before I forget all about it, I'm making a Not Me! Monday post about all the craziness that ensued.  Enjoy.

• I did not end up entering the store shortly behind a guy who quickly ran to get in front of me only to slow down once we were in the automated In-door corrale.  He did not reak of cigarette smoke.  I did not instantly nickname the rude gentleman, "Smokie."
• I did not make a bee-line to the produce department only to see a two year old throw a tomato at her mother.  The mother did not respond to this behavior by doing nothing and leaving the broken nasty tomato on the floor.
• I did not turn right around to see a woman spill about three bags of grapes all.over.the.ground.  She did not run over about half of them by wheeling her cart through them.  Only then did she decide to pick half of them up (including smashed ones), put them back into the produce bags and certainly she did not put them back on the display of grapes for sale.  Not at all.  Common sense clearly states that a little sticky germ-infected floor dust is an awesome selling point for fresh produce.  Why bother any kind of employee from the establishment- especially the one standing 8 feet away cleaning out an apple display.  Nope, a dust-free apple display is much more important than e-coli infested grapes.
• In the deli, I did not see an employee walking by me cleaning out his ear...with a key.  Cause, you know...nothing says 'clean ear' like some shaped, grinded steel.  He then, wouldn't think of cleaning off that wax-ridden key on his pant leg.  Nope!  Not this guy.  Nothing says, 'wipe ear-wax here' like an Arizona chino.
• And later, I was not accosted by Smokie's stench when we was walking so slowly in the back of the store that I almost rear-ended him.  At which point, Smokie did not let out the loudest, longest, nastiest fart I have ever heard.  On top of the noise and stench, he certainly was not bouncing to shake it all out.  I was never so grateful for being able to hold my breath for a long period of time- as I was at that moment.  I did not decide right then and there that the grocery experience was over for the day.  Who really needs milk anyway?  Not me!

So, I'm going to bid you adieu for a few days while I take care of my little one.  This is his neb treatment from last night- all cozy in his little sleeper.   I took this picture to keep him occupied during the treatment.  He likes to look at the pictures after I take them, and will sit very still for me while looking.

By the way, notice the NEW couch?!?!?  Thanks to Monica and Joe, we have an almost new (AND FREE!)couch with hide-a-bed!  Love it!  The hide-a-bed sure came in handy last night with C.'s sickness- he needs to be inclined while sleeping and kept flipping himself in his crib.  So, he and I bunked out.

See ya'll in a few days.

Not Me! Monday

Ahhh, yes. After a small week-long hiatis, I must come back to Not Me! Monday.

I did not make it for 10 days without sugar only to succomb to temptation this morning when C. wrestled me to the ground, pinned my hands down and forced me to eat a mini-Reeses heart. He then made me chew it and massaged my throat until I couldn't help but swallow. Yes, my 2 year old is just that strong. No, I am not my own worst enemy. And tomorrow doesn't start another Day 1. Ugh.

I am not about to make a long, well-thought out post on the dire straights of my furniture situation.  I do not live in squalor, and would never use sarcasm as a way of dealing with this crap.  Nope!  Not me!  Somethings are not a laughing matter, and clearly, living room furniture is one of them.

I did not spend last Saturday searching out a love seat on Craigslist, driving an hour to get it and bring it home- only to realize that I hate it.  I did not think that visiting someone's house with a horribly stuffy nose would inhibit me from smelling the barfy cigarette smell that permiates their abode.  Dave did not spend 3 hours on Saturday afternoon with a steam cleaner and the love seat only to have me come home and freak out.  I did not pick a fight with him to deflect the fact that I was horribly angry with myself.  I never rush into decisions, and I never regret them.  I am not relisting the loveseat on craigslist with an ad worded as follows:

For sale:  slightly faded loveseat with fold out bed.  Dude, you guys, this one reaks.  I purchased it a week and a half ago and just brought it into our addition.  It totally stunk the place up in about 30 minutes.  I want it gone a.s.a.p.  So, if you're looking for a used loveseat w/ pull out bed, and you suck on cancer-sticks....well, this puppy is for you.

Not Me! Monday

HA!  Yes, we'll start the New Year of blogging off to a great start with a little Not Me! Monday post!  How sweet it is.  Click here to see the creator of this carnival and what everyone else has not been doing this week/month/year.

• I was not dreadfully embarrased when my toddler not only took off his coat upon our arrival at church yesterday, but his shirt as well.  While it should have bothered me that I had a half naked child in the sanctuary, it did not.  I was more embarassed by the amount of ink pen scribbles all over his tummy that I was unable to scrub clean in the bath.  I certainly do not leave my toddler unattended with an ink pen.  I have proactively taught him that coloring all over himself is not acceptable.  And, my son knows the meaning of modesty- especially in church.
• I did not let my toddler drink the rest of the sparkling grape juice that we used on NYE.  I for sure did not allow him to drink out of the bottle.  The following picture was never taken.

I would never allow this.  Not only am I not contributing to a predisposition to alcoholism, but I'm also certainly not allowing a social faux pas like drinking directly out of the bottle.  This kind of parenting ensures delinquency.  Something I definitely do not do.

(And his cap is really not crooked.  He does not look like a total thug here.  Glad this never happened and the picture was never taken.  Geez, some people.)

• 
  
  I did not take down all of our Christmas decorations on the day after Christmas.  I was not sick of looking at them after only having them up for three weeks.  I did not feel like a grinch while quickly tossing everything I could into boxes while C. was napping.  I do not move like the wind while he's slumbering simply because I'm too tired and lazy to chase him around.  I am not a lazy person by nature.  I do not hide events- like the dismantling of Christmas- which would leave them completely perplexed upon waking.  Nope not me!
  
  
• 
  
  I did not promise my husband a massage if he would go to the store to pick up some brown sugar.  Agan, I'm not a lazy person.  Nope, not me!  I would never dangle something my husband loves in order to get out of heading to the store.  He did not totally fall for it.  I am not still grateful for that.  I'm totally not trying to figure out how to get him home from work and run to Costco for me this afternoon.....
  
  
• 
  
  Our couch is not in dire straights.  Not only is the material ripped and gashed (which have been slip covered), but now a few springs have not totally busted.  I am not trying to convince my husband that this now means God wants us to purchase a new couch.  I am not totally obsessed with finding a terrific deal that we can fit into the envelope budget. 
  
  
• 
  
  I am not bragging that I now have 14 friends and family expecting in 2010.  Well, ok...perhaps I am bragging!  And that's just up through July!  I am totally excited for these families...and even more excited that its not me who is pregnant!  (Really, its not!)
  
  

Have a great week, friends!

Not Me! Monday

Ok, I wasn't going to do a Not Me! Monday post this week, but there's so many things that I didn't do...so, I'm writing them today to save you the novella next week.

I did not head to Sam's Club in paint-stained sweat pants, white t-shirt and unwashed hair ponied up with tennis shoes so that I could pretend that I was the just-finished-working-out-mom-running-a-quick-errand-on-the-way-home-from-the-gym instead of the too-lazy-to-give-a-darn-mom that I actually am.  Did it work?  Did I pull off the rouse?  Not sure, don't care.  What?!?!  Really?!?!  Nope!  Not me!  I would never go out in public without the 1 1/2 hour long grooming ritual that I do everyday.  Personal appearance- and what other's think of me- is always on the top of my priority list.  After all, what other's think of you completely determines one's self worth, right?  Right?  (crickets...)

I did not make my family wait for an hour after church with empty bellies and crabby attitudes so I could fix them a nutritious lunch.  I did not spend that hour talking to Dave about how the boys need to eat a more nutritiously balanced diet.  I did not serve C. Kraft Mac & Cheese and a hot dog for lunch today.  Nope, not me!  I'm always following through on doing the right thing- expecially when I've just had a serious conversation with my dear husband about it.  I am not consistently inconsistent.

I did not drag my two boys through a Hallmark store on the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  First, I would never brave the crowds with two children in tow, and second I would know better than to bring them to a Hallmark store.  Everyone knows that little boys cannot keep their hands to themselves, and bringing them to a Hallmark store is like bringing a bull through a China shop.  Not me!  I would never to that!  Not to myself.  Not to the boys.  Not to the poor Hallmark store owners.


A few things I did not say this past week:

• Um...A., I know you want to help daddy pick up Molly's poop.  Um...yeah, he uses gloves and a baggie to pick them up.  Yes, I know...that one was still warm.  Let's go find a sink with lots and lots of soap.  Now...where did daddy put the finger nail clippers?
• C....just because you could see her butt crack when she bent over, doesn't mean you need to put your finger in there. 
• C. did not say, "Time out sucks."  When I put him into time out last night....at our small bible study.

Ok, that's enough for this week.  Check here to see what everyone else has not been doing.

Not Me! Monday

Ahhh, the weekly therapy session begins.


I am not bribing my toddler to be still with one of Dave's "little debbie" snacks (generic version, of course).  I would never bribe my toddler, first of all.  And second, I would NEVER dangle the carrot of void-of-all nutrient-sugar-dense junk food.  I only blog when the timing is appropriate, and never during play time.  I am always diligent to fill my little toddler's tummy with only things that are good for him.

I am not a procrastinator.  I would never procrastinate my work load leaving my husband to take care of the boys for 5 hours on Sunday just so I could meet my daily goal.  Nope!  Not me!  I am a wise consumer of my time, and always on top of my work load.  I would never stick my husband with two cabin-fevered boys on a Sunday afternoon....and especially not on the afternoon of this birthday.  Whoa, no!  Not me!  Birthdays here are national holidays, and are meant to be observed all week long.

Speaking of my husband's birthday, I did not wish him a Happy Birthday on my facebook status...a day early.  I always am aware of the date, and would never mess up the actual day of his birthday.  He did not call me that day- to which I did not greet him with a "Happy Birthday, mister!"  And if I did greet him that way (which I didn't...but you know, if I did), he did not reply, "ahhhh.....yeah....tomorrow...."  Not Me!  I am the best, most up-to-date wife in the world.  I certainly know which day my husband's birthday falls on every year.

Speaking of date-challenged, I did not send out my niece and nephew's birthday cards late.  Definately not really, really late.  Certainly not three weeks late.  I did not misplace E.'s birthday card in C.'s clutches, and he did not hide it from me...and proceed to tear it apart.  I did not have to make her a new one, and send it out three weeks late.  And since her brother's birthday was that same week, I did not purposely hold onto his card - for another two weeks just so the two would not arrive together.  I am the greatest aunt in the world!  I always put my niece and nephews at the forefront of my mind, and would never put their birthday cards in the clutches of my toddler- who has proven time and time again that he cannot be trusted with paper products.

Whew.  That's a weight off my back.  Click here to see everyone else's therapy this week.

Have a good one, everyone!

Not Me! Monday

Hey friends, I have a big giveaway to be posted tonight, so please come back later for your chance to win!

Ahhh, Not me! Monday...I enjoy it. So much cheaper than therapy! For more therapy, you can check out this site. There may or may not be others that are posting as well.

I am not already scouring over Black Friday ads trying to devise my "plan of attack." Gift giving is not one of my love languages. I do not get any sort of adrenaline rush from finding awesome deals.

I have not rebelled a little while my husband was away at deer camp. I did not go on vacation from cleaning and dishes- only to realize that it all needed to be done before he came home anyway. I did not, then, decide that I wouldn't cook- so we wouldn't dirty any dishes. We (read: I- since I'm the only adult here) have not made some poor food choices. Nope! I am always completely aware of mine and Adam's dietary restrictions and always stay within the boundaries. Boundaries were not made to be broken.

We did not go to a pet store to grab- yet another- snail for our frog cube. There was not an adoption drive that day from the humane society. I did not almost leave with another dog. I did not completely fall in love with a dog named...wait for it...Sandy. The boys did not attach themselves to her ultra soft fur. She would not have gotten along splendidly with Molly. I do not really really really want another dog. I will not be trying to talk my parents (Hi MOM!) into getting another dog this winter...preferably one named Sandy...because I do not totally love her. (By the way, mom, she's totally trained and looks a lot like Belle! And she's great with your grandsons!!! She gave us kisses and cuddled, and she didn't bark a bit. Her foster mom said that she's totally calm and would keep her if she could! Have I mentioned that your daughter loves her?)

I am not totally jonesing to get my Cricut machine out. I am not trying to come up with gift ideas that will give me an excuse to bust the puppy out. I did not watch the Cricut infomercial twice this weekend (while folding laundry) looking for inspiration. I am not totally headed to Joann's and Michael's today with coupons in hand.

Ok, I'm off to spend time with the toddler and read some books. Enjoy the week, everyone!

Not Me! Monday

Ha! Not Me! Monday is back...well, at least for me. My confession list is long and distinguished. (Quick: what movie is that line from?!?!?)

I did not stand at the nursery counter with my jaw on the ground when my 2 year old pelted my gut with his shoe. He was not totally angry with me for dropping him off in the church nursery. My child would never have a temper issue, and never throws anything- especially at his mommy. And if that did happen (which it totally didn't), I would have been prepared to handle such a situation. I am never unprepared. (And my first instinct was not to throw it back at him...nope! not me!).

I did not continue to watch iCarly after Adam went to bed. I do not enjoy juvenile television programs. Dave was not watching it with me. Nope! Our adult time is strictly that- adult time.

On that same note, I did not sing along to "The ABC Song", "Mary had a little lamb" and "The Wheels on the Bus" while driving my van to the grocery store. I did not get totally busted by the person stopped next to me doing the hand signals to the bus song. I did not look in my rear view mirror to realize that I had no kids in the van at the time. I do not waste adult tune time. And I totally don't know all the hand signals to the Wheels on the Bus. Nope. I'm way too cool for that.

I did not take Colin to a warehouse sale last week and forget to bring my stroller. And if I did forget my stroller, I certainly would have kept a better eye on him and would not have let him reorganize all the boxes and displays. I am never inattentive to my child...no matter how much money I'm saving. He is always my top priority, and I have never taken an eye off him.

Dave and I did not give Adam a "Boo" Ghost to hang in the window so he would feel included. Our son was not heartbroken every day when he did not get Boo'ed. We did not realize that it was all about the ghost sign in the window when we saw him drawing his own ghost sign. We did not find a copy off the Internet, print it out and hide it for him to find. Nope! Not us! Dave and I firmly believe in the school of hard knocks, and would never do anything fake to "keep up appearances" even if it warmed his little heart and put the biggest smile on his face. Nope! Not us!

And a few things I did not say this week:

• Oh, Adam...that's not Colin- he doesn't need a diaper change...mommy is trying to increase her fiber intake. Yea, sorry bout that.


• ADAM, STOP YELLING! YOU'RE HURTING MOMMY'S EARS!!!


• Sorry, boys...mommy left her ipod at home. I guess we're stuck with the grown up music from the radio on the way to school today. What? Oh no...that's not the tip of my ipod sticking out of my carefully concealed coat pocket. No, I'm not hiding it from you just so I can listen to my songs.


• Yes, Adam, we do have a new month with full envelopes. You're correct, I haven't done anything with my eyebrows yet......well, because I've been to lazy and it hurts. ........... Yes, mommy does a lot of stupid things to look pretty for daddy.

Not Me! Monday

Ah yes, someone here has a "case of the Mondays." I'm not sure if I'm getting that plague going around, having issues with allergies, or just plain off...whatever it is needs to go away. But, just for you...dear bloggy world, I will strap on my smiley face and see if I can sound cheerful and upbeat. :)

Ahhh- see- sideways smile, already a good start.

I am not ridiculously behind in posting updates about my 101 list (see right column under links). I did not find pictures in my camera from June that have not been posted. I'm not a procrastinator.

I do not use updating the blog as a way to procrastinate other things on my "to do list." My list does not have items numbered 1-42 with nothing crossed off at 10 am today. I am not a slacker.

I did not surprise my husband by making him a dip for his chips the other day- just to distract him from the unkept house. I did not fail to fold the kitchen towels (all downstairs) meaning I had to use my jeans as a towel to wipe off the sour cream that got on my finger. I was not thinking "oh, these jeans need to be washed anyway." I did not accidentally wear them three days later (unwashed) when I pulled the wrong jeans off the floor in the dark. I did not notice this until 2pm...upon which time I did not think to myself, "well, the damage is done, I'm a dirty girl today, so I'll stay in these jeans until pj time." Nope, I'm the epitome of cleanliness, and would be appalled at wearing jeans with spoiled sour cream wiped on them. I never use my bedroom floor as a hamper and dresser, and realizing that I was wearing dirty jeans, I would remove them immediately and clean the exposed areas. Gosh- WHO would do that? Not me!

I do not have to add two markers and a crayon to my melted-in-the-oven list from this post. Nope! I have learned my lesson from the other long-and-distinguished list of items that have met their demise in my oven. There is no way my learning curve would be that long.

I do not have two computer games checked out of the library that I cannot find. I have not extended their check out three times already. I did not try again today only to find that there is now a "hold" on these by another library user. I am not hosed. I have not torn my house apart looking for these and am not totally afraid that my 2 year old threw them away. (Because, you know...my 2 your old does not throw everything of value away - and this is not at all what I believe happened to my original wedding ring. Ugh.)

I did not find my gluten free nemesis at the pumpkin patch last weekend when Colin chose a pumpkin spice donut with cream cheese frosting for his snack. I did not wince when he pointed to the grand hoo-ha donut. I did not drool over it the whole time he was eating it. I did not take it one step further by continuously asking "Mmm, Colin...that looks yummy." "Is that good? You enjoying that?" I did not inhale the yummy good scent of the leftover donut until I was almost high on it. Ugh...I did not totally curse myself for being gluten free this day. I have not been craving pumpkin spice donuts with cream cheese frosting since that day.

And to top it off...(you know, like cream cheese frosting), here's a few things I did not say this week:

• 
  
  Honey, I'm driving, I cannot stop to kiss your ouchie. ...What? Your ouchie is on your butt?......No, Colin, I will not kiss your butt...............No, I will not kiss Adam's butt...........No, Adam will not kiss your butt...............No, Daddy will not kiss your butt..........No, you don't want to kiss daddy's butt........................yes, it is stinky.


• 
  
  Wow, Colin....you put stickers in your hair!........Yes, you do look handsome....And I see you found mommy's lipstick..........well, it's not that handsome in your hair, but ok...very creative........and now you're without clothing and you've colored blue and brown all over yourself....and daddy's boots top off the ensemble....nice. How about some bubbles in your bath?


• 
  
  Yes, Adam I do have hairs in weird places on my eyebrows..................... Well, that's because I haven't had them waxed in a long time and I cannot find the tweezers. Do you know where the tweezers went?........................ Colin was tweezing his eyebrows? Doubt that................................ Yes, Adam, I do intend on getting rid of that hair as soon as the new month comes along and the envelopes are full again............................... Yes, I'm looking forward to not being scary too.

Ok, I'm off to start the work week. I hope you all have a great week too. To see what everyone else has not been doing, go here.

Not Me! Monday

I'm glad to hear that SO many of you enjoyed our last Not Me! Monday post. Yes, that was definitely a *highlight* of my parenthood journey. Now, back to regular "basic" Not Me! posts.




My kindergartner is not sick again today. He has not been sick since last Wednesday evening. I was not mildly upset this morning to have to wake him up well past his normal wake up time only to find out he slid back down the sickness slope. I was not totally looking forward to getting back into our normal routine, disinfect the house, and run some desperately needed errands. Nope, Not me! I'm a child-centered mom, revolve my life around my children's needs, and always put them first. I never think of "me-time." Thinking that I need to refresh myself in order to be a better wife and mom is just plain selfish.



I do not encourage my two year old to play with Play-Doh in hope that the nasty taste it leaves on his hands would discourage him from sucking his thumb. Not Me! First of all, not washing after playing with said Doh is unsanitary and gross. Second, I would never enlist the help of a children's commodity to aid me in something that a little extra effort of parenting could do. That would just be plain-out laziness. Thank goodness I don't do that at all.



I was not totally stoked when two neighbors asked me to gather their mail and let their dogs out when they were gone. I do not have a totally old-fashioned need for a neighborhood community. That being said, I realize that in order to keep this neighborhood feeling, I need to dress the part. So, I most certainly did not grace the doorsteps of these neighbor's houses in my blue monkey pajama pants. I would never disrespect someones home by showing up in my evening attire. Especially not at 2 pm. Nope! I'm all about appearances, and strive to be the best trophy wife I can be. (Yeah, even I'm laughing out loud at this one!)



I do not have a toddler that is totally into our home appliances. He does not put everything in the oven and broiler drawer. It has not taken me 5 separate instances of smoke filled house/ smoke detector going off before I finally learned my lesson. I do not have 3 burned socks, a charred granola bar, a partially melted Uof M coat, a nonexistent pen, and a ruined 8x8 stoneware pan as proof that I have a delayed learning curve. I am a smart mom and always on my toes. I never do anything on auto-pilot. That would just be totally careless of me.

Ok, that's all I've got this week. I'm sure there's tons more...but nothing comes to mind. To see what everyone else is up so, click here.


Have a great week!

A different kind of Not Me! Monday

A different kind of Not Me! Monday

This is a different kind of Not Me! Monday- I'm mixing it up a bit. Here's a fun, but embarrassing story from the past week.

Last week, I was in a store, and realized I needed to use the restroom right now. So, I brought the boys and the stroller into the woman's restroom where there were two stalls. If the boys are with me, I usually go into the handicapped stall with them so I don't' leave them unattended. But it was occupied, and I had womanly things to do, so I was grateful that I didn't have to answer any questions.




I parked the stroller (and boys) in front of the other stall door (you know, so I can watch them through the huge crack in the door) and proceeded to go about my business. The rest is what you could have heard if you were a fly on the wall in that bathroom:





Adam: Mom, how long will this take?

Me: A few seconds. Please stay on the sit-and-stand with your brother.

Sound: toot echoing in the toilet bowl

Adam: Mom....WHAT was that?!?!?

Me: It was a toot. Adam...can you talk to Colin about school buses? What color are they?

Adam: It sounded crazy mom! Like an alien fart!

Colin: Anien fart!!!

Me: That's enough talking about toots, guys...let's talk about something else.

Adam: Yeah! Like how much it STINKS in here!!! Wheew, mom...WHAT did you eat?!?!?

Me: Adam, that's enough. What would you like to eat for lunch today?

Adam: Not what you ate! You stink sooo bad, mom!!! You're stinkier than daddy!

Me: Adam, that's enough. What's next on our list of things to do today?

Colin: ppppp eeeewwwww, momma! You tink!

Adam: Mom, it stinks so bad in here. Can I go to the toy department and look around so I don't have to smell you?

Me: Adam, I'm almost done. I'll wash my hands and we'll be on our way.

Adam: Mom, it stinks so bad, I think I'm going to throw up!

Colin: Momma- you TINK!!! EEEE WWWWW Ouchie Nose!

Me: That's enough, boys.

Adam: (gagging )

I finish my business, wash my hands and leave. Then I found a secluded spot in the store, and had a little chat with the boys about bathroom etiquette. You see, I was not the one having a BM that day, it was the woman next to me. I can only imagine what she was thinking. So, yes...this is truly a Not Me! Monday.

Not Me! Monday

I took a small hiatus from Not Me! Monday, but since a few of my friends have commented on the lack of Not Me! Monday, I'll be happy to oblige. So, without further adieu:

I did not skip out on our family walk all week to gain a few moments of silence in the house. I am not ornery about my lack of "quiet time" now that Adam is in school, and Colin needs constant attention. I am not acutely aware that the only time I have to clean, cook and work are during Colin's nap times. I do not get super disappointed when Colin only sleeps for 45 minutes. I always put my need for exercise and quality family time over my own need for sanity. I would never skip out for peace and quiet.

I did not squeal with glee when I saw a shirt in the store that reminded me of my favorite baby outfit of Colin's. I did not finagle room in the budget to purchase said shirt- just for that reason. I would never do this! I do not dwell in the past, and only look forward to the future. I certainly do not put stock in material possessions to help me relive the time when my little one was a precious baby. Nope, not me! The following pictures do not exist next to each other:

I was not totally surprised by a third sneeze in the middle of the night. While normally a 2-sneezer, I did not (no, really, I didn't) realize a third was coming...and fail to cover my mouth. This was not the night Dave was sleeping on his back and without covers. He did not get a little sprinkle-o-Sandy in the middle of the night. He was not half awake in the first place, and proceed to thank me for being so generous with my germs. I have never felt so sexy. Dave does not now have a cold that he certainly does not blame me for.

My youngest is not totally obsessed with those single serving water bottle flavors. He does not hoard them when the pantry is unlocked. This morning, I did not realize that he had them, and is now able to open them. Molly did not have iced tea with lemon water for the last few hours before I realized this. I am always on alert to things that could potentially hurt my dog- especially with a toddler in the house. I would never neglect something as important as her water dish, something essential to my canines well-being. On the other hand, I am totally not laughing at having a caffeinated dog. She is so not totally crazy right now.

Ok, that's all I've got for this week. Although I do have more, I'm choosing to stop here due to 1) work, 2) the toddler running rampant in the house and 3) to save your retinas. (aren't I nice?!?!). If you'd like to read more Not Me! Mondays, go to this blog and see what everyone else has not been doing.

Not Me! Monday

Not Me! Monday is actually a blog carnival started by this blog. You can click on the link and see what everyone else has not been doing this week.





In light of recent events at our house, I don't have much parenting Not Me! stuff to talk about- seeing that I did not have our children in my care for a majority of the week. But, as mentioned in my previous post, we had a ghetto-fabulous wedding this past weekend. There's PLENTY of Not Me!'s here. Read on, my friends:

• I did not secretly have a bad attitude about having to attend the rehearsal with my husband. I was certainly not ornery about having to attend this while my brother and his family were in town for the first time in almost 5 years. I was not praying for the entire night for God to change my heart about it. I did not hear "Sandy, take one for the team." in my head the entire night. God did not reward me by giving me a new friend that I spent the rest of the night talking to. (Cause He's just totally awesome like that).



• Dave and I did not go to the rehearsal in "business casual" attire only to find the rest of the wedding party in ripped blue jeans, tank tops, and some gangsta t-shirts. We did not head home between the rehearsal and dinner to change into more "appropriate attire."



• The wedding rehearsal did not take over 2 hours. I did not get out my cell phone and start calling friends, parents and in-laws (Happy Birthday, Poppa Hoppa!) to pass the time. My favorite phone call was not to my in-laws who know these people well, and could commiserate with me. I was not loving the fact that they could laugh with me. Misery does not love company.



• At the rehearsal dinner, I was not totally impressed that the pastor's wife had tattoos. She did not jump a few notches in my book that night. Cause I am totally not impressed by that kind of thing.


• The rehearsal dinner did not consist of pizza and beer. Two things I cannot consume. I do not miss pizza terribly. Grrrrr.....


• I did not totally enjoy sleeping in (until 7:30!!!) the day of the wedding. I was not totally grateful to not have children in my care. I did not have every intention on setting my alarm to get up early, clean the house, and get all my audits in. I did not spend the first hour of the morning in a quiet house, sipping my tea, talking to the dog, and reading a long forgotten devotional. Productivity is always the first priority in the Hop household, and I would never use precious kid-free time to lounge and refresh my spirit.


• I did not refuse to get dressed in order to drop Dave off at the church to get ready. I did not drive him there in my pajamas- minus shoes, bra and combed hair. I did not secretly think that I could probably go to the wedding just like that and still be dressed better than some other guests. I was not completely correct in that thought. Nope! Not Me!


• I did not get to the church (in appropriate attire, of course) to find the groomsmen in the parking lot. The tuxedos were not ALL black with the exception of black and white saddle shoes. I was not surprised that this groom pimped out tuxedos for his wedding. Even in this get-up- my husband still did not look like a pimp. (no, really, he didn't...)


I think the white boutonniere really sets off the white in the shoes, don't you think?



• I did not get to the reception only to find that the women's restroom toilets did not flush. Apparently the dozen or so women that were there before me didn't care. A friend and I did not hijack the men's restroom (and the only working stall in the joint) to relieve ourselves.


• There were not prolonged lulls in the action at the reception. The MC's of the night did not assume that their titles were titles only, and did not refuse to do any work at the reception. They were not one of the first guests strapped to the bar.


• We did not get so bored during the reception that some of the guests filled the centerpieces with beer and alcohol. They did not start passing said centerpiece around the hall. The following pictures were not taken:





(By the way, I did not partake in this endeavor (no, really I didn't). I was enjoying my 7 & 7's all night, and know better than to drink from the community punch bowl. But apparently, I don't know when to stop drinking 7&7's))



• I did not purposely grab my camera for the sole purpose of catching my husband dancing to footloose on film. His reputation did not proceed him at this wedding- and a few people did not ask me if I had requested "Footloose" with the deejay yet. I did not get it on film. I will not be posting it in the days to come. I would never think of desplaying my husband's silly half-drunken actions on the blog for the world to see- even though I have his permission to do so.


• I was not totally obsessed with everyone's attire throughout the evening. I was not grading them only to try to find the best dressed of the evening. While I was not disappointed by the amount of "working attire" at this function, I did find the cherry on top. She was sparkly.

And the fake hair piece with the tight curls just sets off the whole outfit, don't you think?

• I did not eat 1/2 cup of corn and 2 bites of salad before I noticed that the salad had dressing on it. I did not realize that said dressing had gluten in it until an hour later when my stomach blew up. I did not spend the rest of the night doubled over in agony. My half-intoxicated husband did not say to me, "Come on! Have some fun! This is Jamie's wedding!" and go back to the dance floor. I did not spend the next hour helping the groom's parents fold chairs so I could camouflage the fact that I was all hunched over in pain.

• Toward the end of the night, when I could no longer stand up right, I did not adjourn myself to our van in the parking lot. I did tell our friends to let my husband know my where-abouts (he was not on the dance floor in the middle of the gangsta guys). I did not see them drive away 15 minutes after I went outside. She did not forget to tell my husband where I was. He did not spend 20 minutes looking for me- thinking I had left him behind. Oops.

And here's a few things the others did not do:

• At the rehearsal dinner, stupid guy did not bring his little chihuahua and dachshund dogs into the back yard where the groom and his bride own two LARGE protective dogs. The chihuahua did not have "little man syndrome" and try to prove something to the largest dog. This little snack pack sized dog did not end up going for a ride in the mouth of the larger dog. Twice. The dachshund did not also take a little beating from the smaller of the two dogs in residence. Both small dogs are fine- with a few scrapes and stitches. The dog's owner did not have to fork out $650 for this incident. (By they way, this is not the first interlude these dogs have had. Three weeks ago, stupid guy brought these dogs to this house, and they did NOT get along then, either. Not sure why they thought it would be a good idea to bring them again with an additional 50 adults and 20 kids added to the equation.)

• A few of the groomsmen did not "break rank" during the ceremony to step into the main aisle, turn on their digital cameras and take pictures. Yes, DURING the ceremony. No, this certainly did not happen. Everyone has been properly groomed to know that this is a church service for worshipping the God who brought these two together. Not for entertainment purposes. I was not entertained in the slightest.

• There were not vulturous women at this reception. They did not dance on the outside of the dance floor wagging their booties at the single guys. This did not remind me of some mating dances I saw at the zoo lately. But, I digress...
  
  

Not Me! Monday

Ok, ok...I took last week off. Let's face it, I was perfect last week, and had nothing to confess, the summer weeks get busy, and I had no time for confessions. Today is a different story.

• This week, I was without the boys for two and a half days (during the daytime). I did not totally go on a cooking and cleaning strike as well. I did not make my husband eat tons of old left overs, and live in a pig sty. I was not totally selfish with my time by working, taking extra long showers, organizing my clothing drawers, cooking great lunches for myself, and heading out with friends at night. Nope, not me! I always put my families needs ahead of my own.
• Upon seeing Colin again, I did not realize that I had 4 diapers left for the entire night. He did not mess through 3 of them by the time his afternoon nap was over. I did not end up taking him to Costco in a swimming diaper to purchase more diapers. I'm always on top of our diaper inventory, and would never resort to dire straights.
• On Friday night, as my husband is leaving for a bachelor party and he asks me what I'm doing that evening, I did not say, "I have a date with Rachel at Costco!" I was not totally looking forward to seeing her on a Friday night to go...(wait for it)....grocery shopping! I was not totally psyched at the thought of leaving the house on a Friday night. No, not me! I have many many partying friends and an endless supply of entertainment budget, and would never get psyched over grocery shopping with a friend on a weekend night.
• I am not so cheap that I'm going to ask Adam's dentist to give us an extra 10% off his cleaning today. After all, he is missing 10% of his teeth.
• I am not so disorganized that I cannot figure out whether or not we have library books in the house or not. I do not keep finding them in every nook and cranny of the living room. I am not putting off turning in the boys' reading program slips due to the fact that I know I will have to pay fees and be accountable for the book they say we still have. I have not told Dave about this book because he does not hate hate hate this book. He has not forbid me to let the boys check it out stating that its full of communist ideals. I do not have the heart to tell him that I wasn't paying attention when Adam grabbed the book.
• I may not have just realized that I hid this book to avoid getting caught with it.
• I did not just find said book!!!!!! Hooray!
• I did not take a detour to Old Navy yesterday when I was only supposed to be gone for a few minutes to grab a few groceries. The friends and family coupon I was given was not buring a hole in my pocket. I did not purchase a few shirts for Dave to choose from so he would say it was ok that I was absent for over 2 hours. I did not totally enjoy my time shopping by myself. I did not miss pushing the stroller around so I would have somewhere to put my bags.

Not My Child! Monday

We're mixing up the Not Me! Monday a bit and turning it on the kiddos. Strangely enough, I used to have a lot of stories to tell, but now that I'm on the spot they escape me! Anyway, to see the creator of this crazy brutally honest carnival go here and check out what all the other crazy kids have been doing.

Two years ago, my first born was certainly not having issues understanding boundaries and personal property. So, when I was working for a half hour, my child certainly did not go to the neighbor's house, walk in and start playing with all the toys in their playroom - when no one was home. Said neighbor was not a little put off to come for a quiet lunch break (the wife and kids were out) only to find my son sitting in the middle of a mess in their playroom. Not my child! I'm always on top of where they are and they are never unsupervised for more than 4 minutes!


My eldest certainly does not save his BM's for public domain. He does not poop everywhere we go- stores, friend's houses, school, church, grandparent's houses. My eldest did not poop in my in-laws RV after we were keeping him out of the house so grandma could sleep. He did not silently disappear into the bathroom of their empty-water-tanked RV, drop trow, and dump. Not my child!

On another occasion, my eldest did not spend too much time in the church bathroom during the service one day. I did not send my husband in after him only to have him find the boy sitting on the urinal pooping. No way! Not my Child! As a woman, I'm constantly on top of all the weird things my boys will see in the men's bathrooms and am completely proactive in telling them what is and is not ok to do in public restrooms. Thankfully, my husband does know where all the cleaners were, and no one was the wiser. (until today!!!)

My youngest is not obsessed with anything under the diaper. He does not always try to rip it off when I'm not looking. He does not introduce anyone changing him to his penis by saying "Hi penis!" Nope! Not my child! We have taught our children to be proper little gentlemen and that there is a voodoo associated with genitalia and are not to be talked about in public. (Ha!)

This youngest child is not a little clepto, and did not take off with my wedding ring that I placed on my computer keyboard (yes, I know...the best place to store it...). We have not looked high and low for said wedding ring. We did not finally replace it. Even though the new one is larger and beautiful, I am not devastated by this loss, and would gladly put the smaller one on if we ever find it. I have not given this child other non-important jewelry to see if he'll give away his hiding spot. Said child is not on to my ploy. Nuh-uh...not my kid.

Both boys are totally not into watching me put on makeup. I did not start to allow Adam to put powder on my face so he stayed quiet and out of the other compacts. This was not abruptly halted when my husband caught him trying to put powder on himself. I am completely astute in making sure that gender lines are drawn, and am sure that this will not scar their masculinity for life. Yep.

Watching makeup has certainly not turned my youngest into a marker-obsessed self-coloring hound. He did not pretend a green marker was eyeliner. I was not actually impressed by how well he did.

Not Me! Monday

No intros...let's go:

• I do not still have a dog with dried up yogurt on her. This is not the same yogurt from my Not Me! Monday post TWO weeks ago. Spilled milk has not been added to her head two days ago. I did not try to wash her three days ago only to have her freak out when I pulled the shampoo bottle out of the cupboard. I did not do an about-face, put the bottle back in the cupboard and write a note to my husband to remember to wash the dog.
• I do not love the fact that Colin is ridiculously ticklish. I do not use this to my advantage when he's throwing a fit. I do not usually get control of him after a good tickling.
• When said tickling does not work, I do not throw gently place Colin in his crib and zip the crib tent shut, turn out the light and shut the door. I do not have a toddler that is head strong and throws frequent tantrums. I am always proactive and would never let him get to the point of loosing control.
• I did not cram my week full of activities that I have little to no time left for myself, my family, or (most importantly) my work. I always have a firm grasp on where my priorities should be, and now understand that my paycheck is completely responsible for Adam's upcoming tuition payments. I am supermom, and always completely on top of it all.
• I did not clean my shower this past week, complaining the entire time about how much I had to scrub it - only to realize that the last time I cleaned the shower was.....was....was.... well, it has not been a while.
• I do not let the boys play in Dave's work truck while we're outside. I do not love the idea of having the boys confined to a small space so I can get some things done in the garage. I am aware that our outside time is so the boys can stretch their legs and get some needed exercise.
• I did not bring Adam to vbs the first night with a temperature of 102.5. I did not notice he was lethargic all day only to blame it on him wanting to be lazy and watch tv. While I did notice that he was warm, I did not blame it on the fact that we had no a/c in the house and I was 95 degrees out that day....we were all warm. I did not stick around for 20 minutes just to see how he did and leave only to have the vbs nurse call me 10 minutes later to come pick the poor kid up. I did not unknowingly expose over 100 kids to Adam's virus. I am not THAT mom.
• I did not purchase Adam a foam DIY treehouse at Joann Fabric's the other day. I did not pretend that we were putting together a doll house. I was not totally excited when he wanted to put Colin's DIY foam people in the treehouse. My dream was not totally busted when they all started fighting each other with pretend swords.

And a few things I did not say this week:

• "Sorry, kiddo, we've already paid for it, so you're just going to have to suck it up and have fun at camp next month."
• "Adam, at this rate, Colin will be riding a two wheeler before you will!"
• "no, Adam... the corn plants in the garden aren't supposed to be laying flat on the ground. I guess mommy just isn't that great at growing corn."
• "Adam, you're not supposed to do that! That's dangerous! No, there's not a maybe here...there are no shades of gray. It's a black and white situation- mommy is not a shades of gray kind of girl."
• "Hey, Adam...can mommy have a little lick of your ice cream? ...yes, ice cream is made of milk, and no...mommy isn't supposed to have it. ..... Well, there are shades of gray here." (I did not totally regret the lick of ice cream the next day)