Not Me! Monday

No intros...let's go:

• I do not still have a dog with dried up yogurt on her. This is not the same yogurt from my Not Me! Monday post TWO weeks ago. Spilled milk has not been added to her head two days ago. I did not try to wash her three days ago only to have her freak out when I pulled the shampoo bottle out of the cupboard. I did not do an about-face, put the bottle back in the cupboard and write a note to my husband to remember to wash the dog.
• I do not love the fact that Colin is ridiculously ticklish. I do not use this to my advantage when he's throwing a fit. I do not usually get control of him after a good tickling.
• When said tickling does not work, I do not throw gently place Colin in his crib and zip the crib tent shut, turn out the light and shut the door. I do not have a toddler that is head strong and throws frequent tantrums. I am always proactive and would never let him get to the point of loosing control.
• I did not cram my week full of activities that I have little to no time left for myself, my family, or (most importantly) my work. I always have a firm grasp on where my priorities should be, and now understand that my paycheck is completely responsible for Adam's upcoming tuition payments. I am supermom, and always completely on top of it all.
• I did not clean my shower this past week, complaining the entire time about how much I had to scrub it - only to realize that the last time I cleaned the shower was.....was....was.... well, it has not been a while.
• I do not let the boys play in Dave's work truck while we're outside. I do not love the idea of having the boys confined to a small space so I can get some things done in the garage. I am aware that our outside time is so the boys can stretch their legs and get some needed exercise.
• I did not bring Adam to vbs the first night with a temperature of 102.5. I did not notice he was lethargic all day only to blame it on him wanting to be lazy and watch tv. While I did notice that he was warm, I did not blame it on the fact that we had no a/c in the house and I was 95 degrees out that day....we were all warm. I did not stick around for 20 minutes just to see how he did and leave only to have the vbs nurse call me 10 minutes later to come pick the poor kid up. I did not unknowingly expose over 100 kids to Adam's virus. I am not THAT mom.
• I did not purchase Adam a foam DIY treehouse at Joann Fabric's the other day. I did not pretend that we were putting together a doll house. I was not totally excited when he wanted to put Colin's DIY foam people in the treehouse. My dream was not totally busted when they all started fighting each other with pretend swords.

And a few things I did not say this week:

• "Sorry, kiddo, we've already paid for it, so you're just going to have to suck it up and have fun at camp next month."
• "Adam, at this rate, Colin will be riding a two wheeler before you will!"
• "no, Adam... the corn plants in the garden aren't supposed to be laying flat on the ground. I guess mommy just isn't that great at growing corn."
• "Adam, you're not supposed to do that! That's dangerous! No, there's not a maybe here...there are no shades of gray. It's a black and white situation- mommy is not a shades of gray kind of girl."
• "Hey, Adam...can mommy have a little lick of your ice cream? ...yes, ice cream is made of milk, and no...mommy isn't supposed to have it. ..... Well, there are shades of gray here." (I did not totally regret the lick of ice cream the next day)