Screen detox

So...here's where I lay myself vulnerable.

Here's where I show you a triumph.

I've been feeling quite convicted lately about screens. With our whole family in general, but especially with my kids.

What started as "background companion noise" when Adubya was a baby has turned into a full-blown lifestyle.

TV on all the time, 

tablets the go-to anesthesia.

Then MiddleC and LittleL had their tonsils out a month ago, and we hit deafcon 5 slothdom. TV was on all.the.time, charging cables were in every outlet.

You guys, it was bad.

Two weeks ago, we were taking Adubya to camp,  and I took the opportunity to plant a seed with the kids: I explained my concern about their behavior now, what it means for their future, and the sadness it brought me. 

They all actually thought about it.

We decreased screens quite a bit while Adubya was gone.  Then, the day we picked him up, we left for camping.

Sunday to Sunday my boy had gone without any screen. So, I decided....it was time.

Monday morning, the screens went silent.

We went Monday through Friday without any screen of any sort.

(Exception: my phone. I used it to contact people to make play dates and coordinate some of my commitments).

I'm going to do my findings in list form:

- With the exception of Monday morning,  every morning thereafter was blissfully silent. I came out to both boys reading on the couches. Now, if LittleL was up before me, I HAD to get up since she requires adult supervision,  but even toward the end of the week, Adubya was pouring her cereal, and MiddleC was reading her books. (Bless me!)

- Both boys made themselves goals to finish books. MiddleC finished 3, Adubya finished a long one and started on another. They both enjoyed reading these books, and were excited to tell me about what they were reading. (Not super exciting stufd, but they wanted to tell me, so I'll listen anyday!!)

-Errands were fun. Yep, you heard me....FUN. Why? Because no one was trying to rush me through anything to get back home to screens. At one point, Adubya said "yeah, let's try there too...we've got nothing but time..."

- The boys worked together. Monday, they came up with the idea of a cardboard fort. They put their money together to buy a roll of gorilla tape, asked me to drive them around looking for cardboard, and built a fort. This was not without artistic differences, mind you, but after a little FOB time, and a quick talk from mom, they quickly joined forces again and built a fortress.

- We had a total of 4 meltdowns this week. Four.  (Bonus! None of them mine! Ha!). You guys...coming off screens ends up in daily meltdowns from each kid. Multiple daily meltdowns for one specific kiddo.  Four. Blissful four. What a difference!!! (FOUR!!!)

- I stepped up my parenting game. I almost felt like a teacher: planning out our days ahead of time. I was careful to have a little bit of fun time with friends,  physical activity time, quiet time, and then unstructured play. I was present. I was engaged.  Guess what? I liked it. And I have some pretty amazing kids with some great things to say.

- I became an authority in their lives again. Not a problem with LittleL,  but with the boys, they had started untying apron strings on me. They were listening to their bloggers more than me- this week, they reengaged with me too. While they do listen to me, I think the dialogue changed this week. It was more open, honest, fun, and encouraging. 

- Chores got done. Timely and completely.  It was great! We did less chores at the beginning of the week, and kept life fun to encourage us to get to Friday. We did more and more toward the end of the week,  but they were motivated because there was the promise of ice cream and a movie on Friday night.

- We had fun. Structured and unstructured fun. Talking, swimming, laughing, board games, fun.

So, going forward, what does this mean?

Well, we're going to try to let them have some screens, but nothing close to where it was before.

I remember once,  a mentor of mine, Cheryl, called screens a theif.

She was right: they steal.

They steal attention, brain cells, time, parental control,  imagination.

I let that theif keep stealing things until I had little left to give.

No more.

So, we're going to try to do light screens for now, and if the meltdowns come back, if the time gets stolen, if the obsession returns, then they all go off.

For good.

And I'd be totally OK with that!

Mine

So, we are in this season of spring.

Manic May seems to have arrived early. At least the manic part of it anyway.

A few nights ago, I was headed out to reconnect with my friend. Before I met with her, I had to drop A-dubya off at baseball practice.  I looped back past our street on my way out .

The church behind us faces this main street. They have beautiful expansive lawns. While driving by, I saw a man and a little girl in their front lawn trying to fly a kite. The dad looked so patient and gentle with his little girl in her pink ballcap.  The sight melted my heart.

As I drove closer, I was able to get a better look of this sweet scene. And I realized:

That was my husband

With our little girl.

And my heart nearly exploded.

I didn't snap a picture because I was driving, but I did take a mental picture and humbly asked God to make this a sticky memory- one that I won't ever forget.

Later, that night Dave sent me this:

HAPPY 2015! (you know...a little late)

I'm going to go ahead and start this year of blogging like the year is just beginning here.  More than half of my blogging friends are slowly returning to their blogs now, and I find myself driving around town with a blog post or two running in my head. Perhaps it's my time to return as well.

Happy 2015!!!

(insert cliche' "Where did the year go??? thought here...)

In our house, we usually decide to look forward to the next year as opposed to lamenting that another year is behind us.  Each year, we usually try to find a word to focus on and make that a theme for the year.  For so long- during the early house years, my word was "patience."
                               Over and over and over,

 year after year...I chose patience.                             

 

 

Spoiler alert:  I'm moving on from that word.  :)

Anyway, this summer, I received a fun chalk board from a friend, and we thought we'd all pick a word to work on for the year and write them up there.  (and now I need to find a new place to put C's memory work!).

Each of us chose something different:

 

 

Dave- compassion

I don't know why he chose that word, but it literally fell off his tongue without a moment's hesitation.  He didn't explain it to me, or what he was going to do with it this year, but I can't wait to see how God moves him.  You all already know I'm his biggest fan, but I also respect that man as the spiritual cornerstone of our family.  His humility and care with our children's hearts is something I'm so so grateful my children have.  So, compassion fits well here.

Me (Sandy) - Joy

I started seeing this word everywhere went starting in September, and I knew God was calling me out of my "patience" era with the house.  Joy.  It's an interesting word to define, isn't it?  Here's the thing, I was letting things steal my joy.  .

So many things. 

Worries, comparisons, STUFF, worries, anger, hard-heartedness toward people (this is where I struggle most currently) , worries, insecurities....they were all stealing my joy.  So, when our school year had a theme centering around Joy, and the auction I'm coordinating has a theme around Joy, well...I'm going to work on getting the joy down in my heart.  :)  Wouldn't you know it, though...as soon as I declare it a theme, satan works harder on me than ever.  But I'm onto him...and I'm fighting him.  Satan, get behind me because there is joy to be had.

A- self-control

I actually hesitated a bit when he said this.  Again, a quick roll of the tongue as if he didn't even think about it, this was God speaking through him.  Dave and I talk to him all the time about self-control.  My boy is growing up, and in the phase in life when he's bathing in testosterone from time to time, and sometimes needs to remember that a little self-control goes a long way when anger bubbles up.  I can see his wheels turning from time to time, so I know it's in his mind.  To have a grasp on that at 11 makes my mama-heart all warm and fuzzy.

C- consecrated to Christ

Yes, my second grade, 7 year old came up with this.  All on his own.  Well, not necessarily on his own...he's in a Christian school where concepts like this are discussed often.  I turned to him and asked him if he knew what it meant, "Yes, dedicated to Christ.  Dedicated to God."

(sigh)

Baby L. - patience

Whoop, there it is.  Again.

Actually, in all honesty, when we asked her what she wanted for 2015, she said, "Pizza!"  Which we're turning into patience.  :)  So, there it is again...because- well, she's 2.  Need I say more?

And also, pizza is served in the PMD house every

Friday night for Family pizza/game/movie night. 

You're welcome to join us!

*with enough warning, of course!

Top Ten Tuesday: highlights from 2014

In an effort to get myself back on the blog- one of my favorite creative outlets- and also a way for me to catch you up on all the blog post updates I may have missed..here's the top ten highlights of 2014 (for us... at least).

10.  Strong school year.  Both boys have seamlessly settled into 5th and 2nd grades, with new teachers, and a new zeal for learning.  Last year was difficult to get them motivated, and each morning was a fight, so this new-found enthusiasm has been a welcome change.

9.  Baseball, karate, soccer, and basketball, oh my.

We've done them all.  Manic May was rough (on me... they loved it!) with karate and baseball and soccer all at once.  But we managed to come through (relatively) unscathed. 

A started strong with pitching and hitting well, entered into a hitting slump, but pulled out of it in time to help his team clinch 2nd place in the league.

C graduated to a orange belt, and then we put the "hold" on karate to spare the budget and my sanity.  He asks about it often, so we'll be looking into some options coming soon.

 

C really developed quite a few soccer skills this year earning him top scorer at many (too many?) games.  He's FAST on his feet and understands strategy and skills needed to succeed in this game.  We made a deal with him- if he played soccer in the fall, he would try baseball in the spring.  He agreed. This will mean LOTS of baseball, but we enjoy the sport.

Dave is coaching A's basketball 4-6th grade team this year.  Due to some team members traveling during a tournament, C got pulled up to play.  Both boys enjoy the sport and are looking forward to building skills in the years to come.  (Side note:  my husband coaching is unbelievably endearing... and hot. Very hot.).

8.  We purchased a new set of wheels.  While I'm not one to brag about wheels... especially when we usually purchase them under the guise "don't laugh, it's paid for", it's worth noting that the engine is sound (ish), and it's super nice to have a van that doesn't start smoking when you stop at a red light and the heater is on.  Also, having a car with mileage UNDER 240,000 isn't too shabby either.

7.  Work.  Dave is still owner/operator of his own construction business.  His attention to detail, clean work space, and respect for others has really caught on because he is fielding calls for new work everyday!  His brother, Matt, works with him pretty much every day, and I think it's nice that he has someone to talk to other than (yelling at) talk radio.  :). I am still enjoying my sabbatical from the 9-5 grind to raise our family.  Christian Education continues to be a main focus of our family ministry, and my not-working a traditional job has allowed me to really get involved in things like helping with hot lunch ("hoagies and grinders, hoagies and grinders... navy beans, navy beans"....channeling Adam Sandler here!), coordinating a spring auction, running a road rally and serving our church as a social media coordinator.  I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to serve and have the kids see that in action.  I'm sure someday I'll go back to work full time, but I still need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  :)

6. Old friends/ new friends,  Dave and I continue to enjoy the friendships that we've made in years past, and continue to follow where God leads us.  This includes branching from our old small group and starting a new one- which was a transition- and while change is sometimes hard, it's refining and God has been faithful to us as we continue to grow in our faith in this new group.  I continue to serve in my local MOPS chapter at the church on the corner of our own street (where I serve with and met some fantastic friends), and I joined a new Bible study at a Lutheran church right down the road- where I met some really amazing women and played my first round of Bunco. (extrovert's delight!)

5.  Work on the Love Shack continues.  2014 marked the 9th year we've been at this location- and while we're no longer in the 780 square foot shack, the work is still unfinished.  BUT, this year, we completed the exterior portion of our home with a deck (hooray!!!) and the stone facing on the front. 

 

 

 

This was well-timed as our neighbors just put their home on the market.  We're so sad to see them leave our wooded-community, but excited at the prospect of a young family next door!  Fingers crossed!  (If you're in the market for a new home, and have a family, and are normal... and like dogs, won't you be my neighbor???)

Lest you think we're close to being complete... we aren't.  We still need to complete C's new room, main hallway, main bath and kitchen.  Then we have a driveway to do... then sprinkling... then the kid's college.  :). (BUT- as I type, the floor in C's room is being installed... so there's progress!)



4.  Dave and I both made it to 38.    A few bumps and bruises along the way, a few more wrinkles (me) and gray hairs (him), but we're here!  And we're still learning things about each other, and still enjoying each other.   We were able to steal some time away - just the two of us- for a few dates this year, and it was nice to reconnect. I love that guy more than anything, and I'm so glad he chose to dance the minefields with me.



3.  Chicago.  We had our first family "vacation" in.... well.... I'm not sure we've ever been on a family vacation (that wasn't a visit to someone's house)... so in ever.  You can see the blog post on it here.    We had a small radius in which to travel, and an even smaller budget, but the kids talk like we took them to the TajMahal.  When asked about the best part of the trip, the kids said:


A: "LEGOLAND and Soldier Field"
C: "Staying in a hotel"
Baby L: "My-cago and fishies."

Now, every time Baby L. sees a city with a few tall(ish) buildings, she calls it "My-cago.". It's cute.

(Also worth noting that Dave and I learned a LOT about each other during this trip.  Like my need to fly by the seat of my pants, and his need to plan out.every.last.detail.  Something for both of us to remember on our next family trip.)

2.  Birthdays. 

A made it to 11!    Double sticks.  This sweet, sport-loving boy is the quintessential first born.  Lots of planning, lots of anxiety, lots of cuddling, lots of love.  He is very responsible, and wants me to let you know he now knows how to make scrambled eggs and macaroni and cheese.

C. is now 7 (how did this happen??? It seems like time flies the fastest with him.)  He has two speeds:  fast and sleeping.    When he's in, he's ALL in.  His teacher informs me that he has become quite the leader in his classroom this year- which warms my heart (as long as he's leading in the right direction).  He has the biggest heart, and great empathy for the under-dog.  I love this about him.  As of TODAY, we have officially made it 2 years without calling 911 or an emergency department visit for his asthma.  We'll counting that as a "win" and saying prayers we're over the hump of scary-blue-faced midnight runs to the hospital.

Baby L is less "baby" and more "trying toddler.". This girl knows what she wants... and what she does NOT want.  She's head-strong (I have NO IDEA where she gets this), as well as sweet to the core.  She's a hard-core extrovert- knowing every name of every child in school and church, and loves to be around people.  Every Monday she goes through a little slump when the boys go back to school.  She loves all things Mickey Mouse, Curious George and Thomas the Tank Engine.  She has rounded my mom-boy corners and added a loving ruffle to our family.  Sometimes I'm still amazed that she even exists, and at the same time, I cannot image our life without her.  She loves her brothers, and is daddy's little girl. 

1.  God's grace and mercy abounds.  Always a highlight of every year.  Always number one.  Dave and I have been given many opportunities this year to grow in our faith, as well as share our faith with others.  We both sin and mess up daily...but God's grace pulls us through to show His love another day. And for that, we are so thankful.

Family trip to Chicago (within budget!!!)

We decided that this was the year for a quick family trip.

 

 

Just the 5 of us for a short period of time.

 

Away from home

(because if we had a staycation, the Mister would have spent it working...)

 

 

But we had a small budget.

 

So, I went to work-

 

looking for the best deal

 

within a reasonable driving distance

 

that would have something for everyone to enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I landed on

 

Chicago.

 

 

It was about 4 hours from home

 

(short enough of a drive that Baby L wouldn't freak)

 

But far enough away that we felt like we had gone somewhere.

 

We made it a quick trip.

 

(By quick, I mean ONE night).

 

 

 

We left early Monday morning

 

and got into Schaumburg just in time for LEGOLAND to open.

 

 

(Budget note:  The Lego Magazine has a BOGO admission coupon in it.  The subscription is free)

 

Kid friendly note:  Pay the extra $5 for the scavenger hunt lanyard. 

We got one for the boys to share and that worked out just fine.

 

 There's a little something for everyone at LEGOLAND.

 

 

Cute photo ops.  :)

 

 

Play time for little minds and hands.

 

(Note:  my creation is at the bottom; with the horns.)

 

 

 

The boys were given extra jobs around the house over the past few weeks as an opportunity  to save some money for souvenirs.  Combined with a gift from grandma (thanks, grandma!), they each purchased a Lego set and keychains in the gift shop. 

Earlier this spring, I found a groupon for a suite for $99.

 

The boys were geeked to stay at a hotel!

 

(Yeah...we don't get out much...this was C's first hotel.  oops.)

We spent about an hour here at the hotel on Monday afternoon

hoping Baby L. would chill enough to take a nap.

 

(ha!!....yeah, no)

 

Later that night, when D took the boys swimming,

I pulled the sofa out to a bed and set up the pack-and-play for Baby L.

 

It was lovely.

 

Although very little sleep was had.

 

 

Monday evening, we headed over to IKEA for some shopping and dinner.

 

 

 

 

For $25, our family of 5 enjoyed some food and Loganberry pop.

 

 

We looked at furniture and accessories.

 

The kids got a little crazy in the bedding department.

 

But we figured out the kind of bed I want Dave to build for A's new room...

 

so there's that.  :)

 

 

And also...this is about the time that Baby L. decided to not be constipated anymore.

 

That was lovely.

 

 

 

Our total bill at IKEA totaled $52.17.

 

This includes a birthday present for Baby L (children's table and chairs),

under cabinet lighting for my friend Abbie (see you Thursday!),

a side lamp for C's new room (Go Tigers!),

and a few packets of picture frames for a project I wanted to do.

 

Not too bad, I think.

 

 

We got back to the hotel just in time for a storm to roll in.

 

And a delivery from somewhere close to home. (truck)

 

 

 

 

Tuesday morning, we got up early,

 

enjoyed our "hot continental breakfast"

(read: powdered eggs, dehydrated sausages, and make-your-own waffles).

 

This gf girl had yogurt and fruit.

 

But hey...it was free, right?

 

We went back upstairs and packed everything (and everyone) up...

 

 

 

And headed into the city.

 

 

 

 

We spent $15 for parking below Millenium Park.

 

 

Had some fun at the Bean:

 

 

Took a family selfie,

 

(nice smile, A)

 

 

 

Stood directly under the bean and shot straight up,

 

And enjoyed watching my kiddos strike cute poses.  :)

Hello Chicago!

 We walked over to the Crown Fountain-

 

Where I got to watch the full spectrum of my kids' personalities on display.

 

Without a second thought, C pulled his shoes and socks off and jumped in full steam ahead.

 

 

Baby L stayed on the side.  Went in tentatively at first and then really seemed to enjoy herself.

 

 

 

 

A. was content to sit and watch.

 

PUCKER UP!

 

 

After walking around a few streets and more of the park, we headed over to Shedd's Aquarium.

 

Paid $19 for parking and walked around a bit.

 

It was here at this park that I truly realized that I am most at home when I am near water.

 

We stopped for lunch (read: hangry kiddos) at a stand just outside the aquarium.

 

Sandwiches and drinks for $40.

 

This was our most expensive meal throughout the entire trip.

 

Since we only had a short time at the Aquarium,

 

(read: we weren't sure about our children's attention spans)

 

we asked if there was a condensed admission

 

(read: cheaper than $40 per person)

 

the girl told us that if we just wanted to walk around the top floor, it would only be $8 per person.

 

SOLD!

 

We figured that if we wanted to do more, we could go back and upgrade.

 

 

This turtle from the Amazon was my favorite.  :)

 

 

Just a few minutes before this picture was taken, there was a diver in there.

 

And again...nice smile, A.

 

 

 

The seahorses were another one of my favorites.

 

Can you see him?

 

(A. wants me to tell you that "it was actually pretty cool.")

 

Tuesday was also the FIFA game.

 

Go USA!!!

 

(although, we all know the outcome of the game by now...booooooo)

 

Since Dave is a big Bears fan, we walked over to Soldier Field.

 

The FIFA viewing event was going on here, and the doors opened 30 minutes later.

 

Admission was FREE.

 

Dave and the boys were pretty darn excited.

 

 

 

 

 

Once in line, we were told "no strollers." 

 

So, I sent Dave and the boys in while Baby L and I waited outside.

 

(people watching in Chicago right outside an event is HILARIOUS)

 

Dave took a few shots inside

(but you only get one)

 

 

After heading back to the car, we were trying to figure out where to go next,

 

and Dave just started driving.

 

 

I was talking to the boys brain-storming ideas

 

when I realized that Dave had started heading home.

 

 

Well, I guess that settles it!

 

 

We stopped in Michigan City for dinner on the way home

($25.13)

 

And then at TCBY when we were within a few minutes of home: $15.11

 

(Dave promised them ice cream sometime on our trip.  He kept his promise)

 

And also, Thank you TCBY for having non-dairy frozen yogurt!!! Baby L was happy.

 

 

We pulled into our driveway by 9pm Tuesday night: just in time for the kiddos to head to bed.

 

 

36 hours.

 

One tank of gas.

 

One groupon

 

2 BOGO coupons

 

$364.11 total spent

 

 

Priceless memories for our kids to remember for years to come.