What it feels like....

It's no surprise to you (if you've been reading this blog for any given amount of time) that I mention adrenal issues often.  And thyroid issues, and gluten issues. 

All of them are related to each other...in some way, shape or form.  Kind of like a little domino effect.

At the same time, each of them has their own set of affects on me.  Each issue has its own set of medicinal support.  All the same, all related, but different.

Even over a year after my diagnosis, I still have "off" days.  They're coming around less and less, but when they do come a few things happen:

1.  I'm eternally grateful that they're happening less and less.

2.  I realize how far I've come in recovery.

3.  I realize I'm not as prepared to handle the bad days as I was when I was in them all.the.time.

What does an "off" day feel like?

I wake up already tired.  Like I haven't slept at all the night before.

Going up the stairs from our room will leave me winded and breathless.  And tired.

Hopefully we don't have to jet out the door right away.  Having to start a day on a busy note will literally render me useless for the rest of the day.  If we can sit around for a bit, I'm semi-useful.

Regular dizzy spells throughout the day.

Feeling like fainting in the shower....feeling too tired to wash my hair- because lifting my arms above my head is just too much effort.

My arms feel like they weigh 80 pounds a piece when it comes to blow drying my hair.  A pony tail will have to do.

At any given time during the day, I need a nap.  Not want a nap....need.

On a rare day that I get a nap, I will wake up still tired....still needing a nap.

Exercise?  Ha! IF I can push through it, it's a hard hard workout full of half-hearted moves, bad form, and breathlessness.  And it takes me almost 2 hours to recover.

Brain fog.  I will sit at my computer attempting to work and blog, but essentially do a lot of nothing.  These are not productive days. 

If I have errands to run, it's like walking around with 50 lb. ankle weights strapped to my legs.  Each step a struggle, and I'm exhausted by the time I'm finished.

At 3 o'clock (when a normal person has a natural slight dip in cortisol), I will bottom out.  Nothing left.  This leaves my body in shut-down mode....craving any type of sugar for a quick pick-me-up.  Sugar craving like you've never heard of....I'm learning to reach for protein....but sometimes it just doesn't cut it.

By dinnertime, I'm useless.  Mumbling, and short tempered.  Hopefully this is a crockpot day and the boys are playing nicely outside.  If not, we have boiled chicken breasts and some sort of boiled veggie....D. will take the boys outside and I am a spectator while they play....I clean the kitchen at a snail's pace.

After the boys' bedtime, I will sit at my computer and stare at the screens for an hour or two before realizing I've just wasted a bunch of time.  Then, I just head to bed praying the next day will offer relief.

D. once asked me if it was "all in my head."  Until I showed him that these are measurable hormones in my body...and once measured, were proven to be well-below normal.


What do I do for it?
- I take adrenal support medicine prescribed by my Dr.
- I take Celtic Sea Salt shots first thing in the morning, before I work out, after I work out, and usually at 3pm.  And sometimes more often depending on the level of fatigue and the amount of pain in my back.
- I try to avoid anything very early in the morning.  This means switching my car pool during the school year so I don't have to drive in the morning, I quit my gym membership because the only time I had to go was at 5:30am...which made it worse.  I now work out in the comfort of my home in the late morning/ early afternoon, and only drive the afternoon pick-up at school.
- I try to keep my schedule sparse of commitments.  I didn't do such a great job of that last year...and think I prolonged my recovery.  I need to do a better job of it this year.
- I'm maintaining a gluten free diet.  The level of reaction in my body was leading me to go into "fight or flight: mode...which put my adrenals on overload.  By keeping my diet clean, I'm keeping my body's reaction at a minimum.
- I rest when I can.  Trying to push through will do no more than tax them more.
- I take 1 tbsp. of extra virgin coconut oil every day.  This makes a BIG difference when I work out!
-  I take advantage of good days.  I get as much as I can done when I can, so I don't fall so far behind on the bad days. 
-  I say a prayer of thanks for every good day.  And then I ask God for another good day...and say "thank you" for that one too.


So, yeah....that's what it feels like.  And that's what I do to maintain some sense of normalcy.

This post isn't to gain pity at all.  I realize that until someone explains to me what something feels like, its hard for me to understand.  So, the next time someone tells you they have adrenal issues....well, now you know.

God always rewards....

You know the verse about God always working everything out for the good for those that love him? I know that's not a direct quote, but I like to believe that I live my life centering around that verse. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems, and it always turns out good.

Yes, I am an optomist.

So, when we decided to schedule the tonsilectomy and adnoidectomy for Adam to help him battle his sleep apnea, I assumed that the silver lining would be a child that sleeps soundly and isn't overly tired the next day. Little did I know that there was another silver lining....a GIANT silver lining...

read on...

Adam was actually excited to have his tonsils out. People kept telling him about all the ice cream and popsicles and jello. No one told him about anything else. So, the morning of the surgery, I woke him up, and he jumped up and said, "Yea! Mom, I get my tonsils out today!!!"

"Yep, kiddo, you sure do...hang on, it's a fun ride!"

Adam was allowed to bring comfort items with him to surgery. At first it was just the blanket, but then he decided that Kermit needed his tonsils out too. It's not easy being green. Kermit and blanket got to ride in the front seat on the way to the Surgical Center.

Adam and Kermit are getting checked in. This includes wearing special jammies, taking vitals, meeting the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, and the surgical nurse. The check-in nurse was explaining to Adam what was going to happen. This is when he looked at me and said, "mom, I think I want to go home now." And I said, "Too late, kiddo. We're here...we're committed to this now."

That chair was the last place I saw Adam before surgery. The anesthesiologist actually walked him back. I wasn't even given the option to go back with him. Good for me, probably not so good for him. The procedure itself took about 25 minutes. I was with him in 50.

Giant Silver lining: the high 5 year old.

Seriously...it doesn't get much better than that. Really, curing the sleep apnea is only the cherry on top. The high 5 year old is the entire batch of icing. I took it as God's way of saying, "well, done parent...you made it through the surgery in tact. Have some laughs."

When I got to Adam, he was crying for a second, itching his nose the next, sits straight up and says, "Hey mom, pretty cool room we got here, huh?" Lays right back down and conks out. "yep, Adam...it's a rockin' curtain..."

Then he wakes up again, and decided he wanted to read. I told him that I didn't bring any books for him. He says, "oh, that's ok. I'll just read your book." "My, Adam...you've sure come a long way in your reading since yesterday."

And of course, he was the only child there that day. Most of the others were seniors getting work on their cataracts. Which alarmed Adam. He kept saying (quite loudly, I might add), "Mom, why is that scary man over there with fly eyes?" "Mom, there's a scary woman over there too!"

From then on, we just kept the curtain drawn...at Adam's request.

When we got home, he got to unwrap presents from grandmas and grandpas. A Transformer and a Leapster game! Normally he doesn't like his picture taken like this, but he opened each gift and just sat there saying, "Chuuuuuuuuhhhhhh." (high for Cheese).

" Oh Adam...you wanted me to take your picture? Hang on, the camera is in the kitchen. I'll go get it."

"Cccccchhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh."

(all the way to the kitchen and back)

I love this kid.

The adrenal and digestive system..and possibly tmi

Well, this is more of a health recap than anything else. I went to the Dr. today (a different Dr.), and received the results of some more tests that my new Dr. performed. Here's basically the gist:

1. I am type 2 hypothyroid. I am a "peripheral non-conformer." This means, I have enough TSH and T4, but no T3. Long story short, the pituitary monitors the amount of T4 in your blood. If there's not enough, it puts off TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) which stimulates the thyroid to make more T4. These things are fine for me. Here's my hiccup- THEN the body converts it to T3- which is what it actively USES in order to maintain daily living, moving, adrenals, hormones, etc. This is the start of the problem. This will be helped by taking non-radioactive iodine for the next few months to see if it comes up naturally. **Side note, the Dr. believes that this could have been an issue for me since puberty...yes, these kind of things do go back that far!!!***

2. Since my body is GROSSLY deficient in T3, it has caused a state of "adrenal fatigue." Basically, my adrenals don't work like they should. The tests showed results that I'm essentially in "hybernation mode." With two boys 5 and under, a part time job, and a crazy house-situation, my life is a far cry from hybernation! In addition, I do not make enough estrogen, progesterone, serotonin, or cortisol to be thriving on a daily basis. The only one I make enough of is melatonin. I don't ovulate regularly(sorry, tmi), and the Dr. stated that he was surprised I was able to carry the boys to term without miscarrying(thank you, natural progesterone cream!!!). With some supplemental support, we're hoping to keep me off prescriptions. The Dr. stated that I'm not "that far gone" and with my younger age, I should be able to recover quickly. By quickly, I mean within 14 months. This also explains the debilitating fatigue I get and why I have never had an endorphin rush after exercise- and why I passed out on the treadmill in February. Once my hormones are stabilized, the healthy eating habits I've already been on should start to show weight loss.

3. While I still struggle with digestive issues, another issue has come to light. The Dr. thinks I may have a sensitivity to gluten. Celiac hasn't been brought up, but instead of trying to go in and do a biopsy (cha-ching!!!), I'm to avoid gluten for the next 30 days to allow the villi in my stomach to repair themselves, and reintroduce it to see what happens. Believe it or not, approximately 80% of people with ulcers/ulcerative colitis/Crohn's have a gluten sensitivity! So tonight, while the boys had pizza (it's pizza/movie night, after all), I had PB&J rice cakes. Mmmmmm. Seriously, I had NO idea how much stuff gluten is in! Even the lemonade we give the boys has gluten!

I keep thinking of the Dave Ramsey line, "beans and rice, rice and beans..."

Yep, that's me for the next 30 days.

I'm actually very ok with it all...I'm looking forward to expanding my culinary horizons and eating a little fresher ingredients for a bit. Thank goodness this is happening in the summer when I can hit farmer's markets some in-season yumminess!

4. I still have a vitamin D deficiency. So, for the next month, I'll be taking a "loading dose" to get it up in the optimal range. Apparently, a vitamin D deficiency is dangerous for your heart. So, we're getting it back up. Welcome to Michigan...:)

Seriously, I really feel like we're on the right track to wellness. I'm actually excited to have some real and potential answers, and I'm even more excited to have a Dr. who is treating Me, the patient, not the medical chart. Dave is on board with all of it, and is really being supportive of this new lifestyle...even looking some recipes for bean salad, etc. He said that he's not going to "watch dog" me (because he knows I'll kill him), but he's willing to try some gluten free dinners, etc. I think he's excited to get his "old" wife back. But then again, tonight he said "no...you're perfect just the way you are." Awhhhhh, how sweet is that!?!?!

I wonder what he wants. :)