Thursday, March 30, 2017

A final farewell

We've tried to say good-bye before: you and me.

But I kept needing you.

We met 14 years ago...

This shiny newness....neither of us knew what was coming. How our paths would walk together for so long.  Your usefulness in so many different ways.

Your reliability: unparalleled.

Your durability: unmatched.

You held my children. All 3.

You allowed them rest. You were there for clapping at parades. For the first big walk around the new neighborhood. For the off-roading of the baseball fields. You were there.

Dear old friend, you were no frills. Not a trendy name; no bells and whistles. I loved you for it. Nothing broke, nothing stolen, just a sturdy companion.

They are 13, 9 and 4 now. Grown enough to walk almost everywhere. And, see, the back of my van is getting full already with folding chairs and sports equipment. We are moving into an entirely new chapter. You were one of the last holds I had on the old one. I loved you for hanging in there so long.

I watched as somebody bought you. I hope and pray that they take good care of you, trusted steed. I pray for their littles, and for this amazing chapter of life they are in. Oh, the chapter of bringing babies into the world. The crazy sleep-deprived diaper/feeding scheduling chapter. But also one filled with amazing discoveries and big surprises (see aforementioned 4 year old).  What a joy. What a privilege. What a chapter.

Farewell, old friend.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Top ten: things I learned or loved this week

1. An afternoon spent getting to know a new friend (and her sweet baby) over coffee is a great afternoon indeed.

2. I love getting emails from my son's teacher when she's advocating for him. It means he is loved by her.

3. I also have no problem sending a reply that essentially says "dude, I give up."

4.  I'm less and less impressed by all the protesting or pandering....not that I was at all impressed in the first place.

5.  It's never never never fun to be the one who is disregarded.  But always good to be that person once in a while. It keeps one mindful about inclusion.

6.  Sweet baby head smell. Enough said.

7.  Crabby kid= a kid who needs more sleep. Every crabby remark results in 5 minutes subtracted from bedtime. MiddleC has earned a good night sleep tonight.

8.  Filling their tank fills my tank. One-on-one time with these kids is so so beneficial to our relationships.

9.  A nice pair of earrings is icing on the cake of a great outfit. Also a great way to dress up some yoga pants. Just sayin.

10.  Sunshine. I love it. Please send more.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Ten on Tuesday: things I want to be better at

Life is full of areas for improvement, isn't it? At least, it is for me. The dialogue inside my head is always showing me where I fall short.

Like it or lump it,  it's true.

This is where I need to be careful to not allow Satan to get a foothold here. His words are lies determined to bring me into a dark hole.

I need to work on looking for the light in that hole. A nudge from the Holy Spirit never brings me into a darker place, rather it brings me closer to the Light. It lifts me rather than condemns me. 

Since we are at the end of January,  I thought it would be fitting to do a list of areas I feel the Holy Spirit nudging. 

Not for an attagurl,  but for accountability :

1. Less helpless, more helpful.
Focus less on where I can't help, and more on where I can.

2. Less selfies, more selfless
I have taken more selfies in 2016 than any other year. I need to point the camera OUT more, rather than back at me.

3.  Less lazy, more movement
Clean. Help. Exercise. Be productive. Move.

4. Less inconsistent, more consistent.
Stick to the rules. Follow the schedule.  Get things done.

5. Less judging, more grace.
Grace begets grace.

6. Less grudges, more forgiveness.
What does true forgiveness look like here?

7. Less write-offs, more relationships.
Why do we, as humans, feel it's so easy to write people off? Why do we distance ourselves from them because we worship our own social standing? I want to stand in the gap.

8. Less talking. More action.
Let me be a person who gets things done.

9. Less speakin, more listening.
I was given two ears and one mouth for a reason.

10. Less me, more God.
This speaks for myself.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Inauguration feelings

So, we have a new president.

Here's where I start this post by telling you that I wasn't really rooting for anyone in this race.  He wasn't my first, second, or third choice....but oh golly....did I not want her to win either.

Yeah, we're going to touch on politics on this blog.

Eight years ago, I felt betrayed by my fellow voters. That they had failed to do the research I had. Fear for the future that lay ahead. I felt voiceless,  helpless, hopeless.

A lot of what the other half is probably feeling today, to be honest. Guess what guys....I understand how you feel!

And just how I felt, you will get through these next few years. You will feel frustrated.  You will feel helpless and hopeless. While I'm sad you'll probably feel that way (because it's uncomfortable to feel this way,  right?), you CAN do one thing:


You can pray.

You can pray that our government will stand firm and strong. You can pray for our success. We're all on this same boat,  and no one wants to sink.

For the past eight years, I've prayed for God to guide president Obama, and I'm going to do the same for president Trump.

Join me, please.

Sunday, January 15, 2017


You guys.


Six blog posts in one year.


I miss you all. I miss this space.

I miss the relief.

I miss the voice.

Not a day goes by that I don't have a potential blog post running through my head.

But it never gets to this space.

I'm going to try to change that.

At the VERY least, I'm going to try to beat my number from last year!

Hope to see more of you soon!

(In the meantime, Go Pack Go!)

Friday, October 7, 2016

Yesterday, I turned forty.

So, yesterday was my birthday.

It was a bigger one.


Four. Zero.

Anyway, for some

(Weird, unknown, crazy, bizarre )

Reason, I decided it would be a GREAT idea to find a few new clothes.

Something cute for my birthday dinner date with the hubs

So, I decided to try one some jeans.

Yes, on my 40th birthday.

I found some cute trendy ones...

...some with frayed holes...

Cute in the hanger.

I tried them on...

And laughed.

You know what it looked like when I looked in the mirror?

Mid-life crisis

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Motherhood:the fine line

So, we just passed by Mother's Day.
A day for moms everywhere to be appreciated and celebrated for the weekend ....
 20 minutes it takes to open cards and give hugs.
Am I right???
But every Mother's Day does cause me to stop and think.  To be thankful for the little hearts that have been entrusted to me. To think about this journey of motherhood that I'm on- to do a self-evaluation on how I think I'm doing shepherding their hearts.... and to be thankful for the mentors that have gone before me and the community of moms that are around me.
This year, I realized that Motherhood is all about walking a fine line.
Sometimes the lines blur a bit on top of each other... but all fine line nonetheless.
  • Between keeping them humble and filling their confidence
  • Between getting them to practice in order to build skill and instilling enough confidence for them to go out and get in the game.
  • Between loving their "good morning wake up" and loathing them for the inability to sleep in (for the last 12 years....)
  • It's a fine line between filling them with wholesome food and just getting through a mealtime without complaint
  • For the gratitude of never having a too quiet house and the over stimulation of having a house that is never quiet.
  • It's a fine line between protecting their hearts and allowing them to learn a life lesson.
  • Between clothing them enough to not look homeless and the pretentious label-snob.
  • Between waiting the course and calling the Dr. when illness strikes
  • Between wanting to give them the world and making them earn it.
  • Between me-time and us-time
  • Between gleaning wisdom from mentors and blazing your I own path
  • Between laundry and play
  • Between sanity and insanity
  • Between pride and humility
  • Between thankfulness and ringyourneckness. 
  • It's a fine line between holding them in the moment, and pushing them into the next...

Between holding on.....and letting go.