Counting Mine {447-460}

447. Remembering the phone charger

448. And when you forget the charger, remembering the external battery.

449. Remembering to charge the external battery

450. Great clearance sales  that fit like a glove

451. Taking a chance and buying a dress off amazon, and having it fit well.

452. Early morning snuggles with Ally

453. Wine

454. A night with friends and wine

455. No wine hangover

456. The smell of the dirt in a freshly turned garden

457. The song of a Robin

458. When the 13 year old declares that he will do his own laundry from now on

459. A cavity free check up

460. The start of baseball season

458. Hitting your water intake goal three days in a row

460. Date nights that include lots of laughter

Counting Mine {427-446}

427. Advancing to the next phase in Phase 10 while everyone stays behind.

428. Loosing the speck in the eye. Literally.

429. Kids who choose the right option- even when they don't know anyone is watching.

430. A looooong hot shower.

431. Willing hearts and able hands. All in the name of church community

432. A little one who loves to brush her teeth

433. Loving the other parents on the baseball sidelines.

434. Reconnecting with old friends- and you pick up right where you left off.

435.  Kids that understand the need to keep their committments- even when they're not super excited about it. And finding something good about it all.

436. A husband who can do mechanical work.

437. Coffee shared with sweet friends.

438. Cuddles with the dog.

439. A full nights sleep

440.  The crockpot during our busy season

441. The perfect fit.

442. The pastor who chooses to stay.

443. Easy bedtime routines

444. The perfect MOPS speaker.

445. The humbled feeling in my heart when I was called wise.

446. James 3:13-18

Counting Mine {414-426}

414.  Easy birthday parties

415.  Sleeping in

416.  Salted caramel vodka and apple cider (don't judge)

417.  A borrowed clothing steamer

418.  The cuddly dog

419.  Baby A. and how much my Baby L. loves him

420.  Baby L's little friend Hadley, and how they shreek and  hug every time they see each other.

421.  The package coming in the mail at just the right time.

422.  Shark week costumes

423.  My mom- who spent a lot of time sewing for our costumes

424.  For the good coffee

425.  A long hot (uninterrupted!!!!!) shower.

426.  For sweet Texan friends who send the PERFECT birthday gift.

Counting Mine {401-413}

401. Good hair days

402.  Acne wash (that works!)

403. Play it again Sports.  Making fall and spring sports a tad more affordable.

404.  Lots and lots (and lots) of little kids at church

405.  Bible studies that go back to original Greek and Hebrew.

406.  The husband's patience

407. Purchasing the first four Christmas presents

408. Someone to share tears with

409.  Another year of Maddie

410.  Friends who share recipes and expertise

411.  New friends who are willing to link arms with me in parenthood

412.  The pair of good tweezers

413.  Coffee.  Coffee.  Coffee.

Counting Mine {387-400}

387.  The perfect hymn that stays clear in your head all day long.

388.  A completed zip line.

389.  Invitations to new friend's homes

390. Excitement over a 100% spelling test after a long week studying.

391.  Increased confidence in middle school

392.  Mineral foundation

393.  Birthday parties

394.  The fancy bathroom faucet

395.  Air conditioning

396.  Clear margins

398.  New bedrooms

399.  Nightlights
400.  Antibiotics and weekend express care.

Counting Mine {364-386}

Friends, this is a therapy post.  It's for me.  Feel free not to read. 

My MOPS mentor mom - even though she was absent from our meeting yesterday- still found a way to bless me and God used her and her circumstances to pierce my heart.  She left a gift for each of us at our table...and followed it up with an email reminding us to be thankful...in all circumstances.  That has always been a motto of mine as well, but as soon as the sh*t hit the fan this week, I failed.

I forgot to be thankful.

So, in an effort to calm my heart amidst the storm...I need to focus on what is good.

(More on the storm later...but if you could pray for me, my family, my friends, our school and our current church body...that would be great.)



364.  Lori.  For who she is.  For what she does.  For listening.  For praying.  For keeping her eyes on God while caring for your husband.  Her grace does not go unnoticed. (And if you would pray for Lori and her husband, Dave, that would be wonderful too)

365.  For the sisterhood of steering. 

366.  For laughter that was balm for my soul. 

367.  #helpishelpful

368.  For the superfruit cosmopolitan.  (It's essentially healthfood, right???)

369.  For Barb.  Oh, my heart loves Barb.  She is steadfast.  She is supportive.  She is an ear.  She offers help.  She has the gift of hospitality (dude...seriously....).  This woman's heart...I just love her.  I'm so so so thankful for her in my life.

370.  Hugs.

371.  Cappicino Crunch Ice cream (a very very small bowl...but it was so good).

372.  For a silent hand-hold in the middle of the night.

373.  For other parents to link arms with during this journey of parenthood

374.  For boundaries.  And understanding when and where they are needed before they are crossed.

375.  For wise pastoral counsel

376.  For just the right speaker to come in at just the right time.

377.  For someone to send me the perfect pin at just the perfect time

378.  For breakfast dinner

379.  For a clearer defination of the words "righteous anger" and the separation between that and "sinful anger"

380.  For punching bags

381.  For obedient hearts

382.  For history.  History in small circles.  Circles that you didn't realize overlapped.

383.  For fast drying toe nail polish

384.  For release.  Freedom.

385.  For the "I'm sorry"

386.  For the forgiveness.

Counting Mine {343-363}

343.  Teamwork.  When the team is ALL working toward a goal.

344.  Thinking outside of the box.  Even if it's realatively uncomfortable, it means movement is happening.

345.  Walking into Bible Study knowing you did all the homework.

346.  Touching base with old friends that you haven't heard from since you were eight.

347.  Generous spirits.  Is there anything better?

348.  Humility.  Those that have it, those that strive for it.

349.  Good, solid leadership.

350.  Useful phone apps.

351.  An unsolicited back rub

352.  Finding ibuprofen....just before your head explodes.

353.  Well-timed movie events.

354.  A good night's sleep

355.  The parents at our school.  Seriously.

356.  Successful sleep overs and late night giggles.  (but not too many!)

357. The look of pride on the boys' faces when they have a good day at school.

358.  A happy-dance in the kitchen with all three kids.

359.  New faces at church.

360.  Old faces at church

361.  Baby L's belly laugh.

362.  Baby-head smell.  Sigh.

363.  The perfect dinner.  When no one complains, everyone eats something, and no one comes up to be 5 minutes later and says, "I'm hungry."

Counting Mine {320- 330}

320.  Sleeping in during a thunderstorm.

321.  Timing the errand running down perfectly so we don't get drenched.

322.  Miracle Foot Repair lotion.

323.  Having the perfect amount of cash in the envelope to cover the bill.

324. The perfect summer day:  not too hot, not too cold, and no bickering kids!

325.  The excitement on the boys' faces when they get mail in the mailbox.

326.  Having people compliment me on my children's behavior while shopping.  (at 2 stores in a row!!!)

327.  All the new pregnancy announcements.

328.  And I'm not the one who's announcing! :)

329.  A productive nap time.

330.  Friends who remember the insanity of having a toddler.

Counting Mine {305-320}

305.  This blog post.  Read it.  Really.  It pulled me out of a pit of self-loathing.

306.  The Laid Back Book Club.  Reading books outside my normal genre, and loving them!

307.  The warm fuzzy inside of a sweatshirt after coming in from a cold water balloon fight.

308.  Friend's visits.  And Friend's kid's visits. 

309.  Meetings of the middle-child society.  (Taco)

310.  Smart Pop Popcorn:   the new white cheddar flavor.  Mmmmmm

311.  Laughing at Pintrest fails.

312.  Grandparents who hang onto their RV just because their grandkids LOVE camping with them.

313.  Fun new fonts.

314.  Having a talk you needed to have with a friend who knows you better than you know yourself.

315.  Ruth 1:16

316.  Accidentally purchasing fat free cream cheese; and the recipe turns out ok anyway.

317.  Hope.

318.  People who are willing to stick it out during the hard parts. Running is easy.  Hanging tough takes courage.

319.  Fiesta- ware (in superb condition) found at a garage sale for $2!!!

320.  A baby who sings "I am Jesus' little lamb" with me every nap and bedtime. Melt my heart!

Counting Mine {295-304}

295.  Small group

296.  Friends who parent their children the same way I parent mine- thus creating an easy atmosphere

297.  Lady days sat grandma's house.

298. New deck chairs

299.  Solar lights that work!

300. Six amazing graduates of our little school- what a fantastic foundation!

301. Crying at a sad movie and laughing at a hysterical bawler at the same time.

302.  Monthly menus.  And  the ability to stay on budget.

303.  The Summer Bucket List.  And hope of lots of fun!

304.  Nap time.

Counting Mine {276-294}

It's been a while since I posted one of these.  I've missed them.  So, here goes:

276.  Allergy meds

277.  Sandals with arch support


278.  A grandma that my kids adore- and one that babysit.

279.  An almost completed deck!

280.  A good group picture.

281.  Sunshine.

282.  Houzz.com and the hours of inspiration it gives.

283.  Simplifying. 

284.  Opi's fun nail polish names.  (My current favorite "AmazON....AmazOFF)

285.  A Sex and the City Marathon

286.  Make-up primer.

287.  Citronella

288.  Vodka Tonics

289.  Pretending to live at Barb's house for 5 minutes.

290.  Graduation parties.

291.  When C. hears sirens on the road and reminds me to start to pray.

292.  Sending Manic May into the "past."

293.  The promise of play dates, picnics and fun.

294.  Being the "prepared mom" who has an emergency kit in her car (Thanks MOPS craft day!)

The post that took me all summer to write.

*Disclaimer: This is NOT a judgement post.  This is just what's in my heart, for my life, for my family.  No judgement for anyone else who does their life differently.  M'k?  All righty then....on with it:


There's been a big change in our house lately.

So big, in fact, that it took me an entire summer to write.

I'm going back to my roots.

To who I am, who I want to be...and all that this entails.

I'm going to be a mom.

Wait....

"Sandy, you're already a mom," you say.

Yes, I am. 

But not the mom I wanted to be.

Flashback with me to about 7 years ago (well, 7 1/2, but who's counting?  Yeah...I totally am).  We had just recently(ish) moved into the Love Shack.  We spent all our easy cash on purchasing our house (for cash), redoing the entire septic field (cha-ching!), and building a pole barn. 

Our cash was lower than we needed to build the addition.  So, this opportunity comes along to work from home, and it was an answer to prayer.  A. took FANTASTIC 3.5 hour naps in the afternoon, and I could make calls during that time and write up reports after bedtime.  It was a great solution to get us from point A to point B.  We were so thankful.

C. was born approximately 32 weeks after I started the job.  (note the timing there?  yep...felt FANTASTIC during orientation...statement heavily laden with sarcasm...).  When C. arrived, he was a dream baby. 

No, really. 

Two weeks after C. was born, A. went to 5 day-per-week preschool, C. took a 2 hour morning nap.  When A. got home from school, he ate lunch and took a 3 hour nap...at the same time C. took another 2.5 hour nap. 

I was blessed. 

Great sleepers.  Bliss.  I got work done, I slept well at night, and I was showered daily.  Heaven.

As the boys grew...so did their demands. 

For my time. 

For my energy. 

For a lot. 

Financially demands grew too - tuition, health care premiums (thank you, Obamacare...seriously! But that's another topic for another post).  My income helped with premiums and tuition.  That's it.

In the meantime, I had two little boys who saw the back of my head more than they saw my face.  The stranger I was talking to on the phone was more important than the cut on their finger.  They were watching more TV than I wanted to admit.  Really....it was an insane amount.  My house was a mess, my realationships were slipping away because I was always choosing to work, things just weren't.....working.

But I didn't realize it.

I kept plugging away.  Earning my paycheck.

Here's also where I say:

I'll admit I'm not the best of employees.

Especially when I don't really feel passionately or even particularly enjoy what I'm going.

I am VERY right brained. 

VERY.

I have the ability to think logically.  I have the ability to make left-brained things work.

But it's like sanding wood against the grain:

You'll reach your desired outcome...it just may take more effort and friction.

This job?  Numbers.  Lots of numbers.  Entering numbers into a report to make sure they're placed under the right number codes.  Making sure the numbers entered matched other numbers...and more numbers.  I can do numbers...really I can.  I can MAKE it work... But, was I?

So, there were times I wondered how well I was doing.  Sometimes I knew I wasn't doing as much as I should have been, but without a specific quota, I had no idea.  Until you got yelled at, there was no way of knowing.  So, after a long discussion with my boss (5 years into employment) I had a quota.  As I struggled to achieve that every week, the stress continued to climb.

If I was working, I felt guilty for neglecting everything else.

If I was doing anything else, I felt guilty for not working.

It was a crazy cycle.

The guilt mounted, the unhappiness continued, the mess piled up.

Enter Baby L.

The adorable little cherub doesn't sleep.  I didn't realize how great I had it with the boys.  But now I have two boys that need my attention and a baby who never gives me a break.  I was maxed out on stress (a winning formula for those with adrenal fatigue) and dropping every ball I had in the air.  Every.single.one.  Including my work.

That's when the W-2 came in the mail.

I looked at that piece of paper.  It showed me how much I made in the past year.

Honestly, guys....

it was a pittance.

Granted, I took the last 2 months "off" for maternity...but seriously.

Seriously.

That's when it hit me "You're giving up your happiness...your time with your children...for THIS???"

I took a look around at my messy house.  My boys addicted to the TV.  My baby crying in the bouncy chair.

Was it worth it?

The answer was pretty clear.

I had a very candid conversation with my boss.  While I knew my job wasn't in direct danger, I knew that - with my priorities and my passions, it was only a matter of time.  Months, years...I wasn't sure.  But I knew that I wasn't going to continue down this path to find out.

It was no longer worth it.

Even if my salary doubled, it wasn't worth it.

I've wanted to be a mom since I was small. 

I was missing it.

I wasn't present.

I was there...physically, but everywhere else mentally.

I've got one chance while they're young.

One time.

So, I made a choice.  I turned in my notice.  I was asked to finish out my existing inventory...which ended up taking most of the summer.  (That's a long story in and of itself....).  Dave was VERY supportive, and when he came home and I informed him that "I quit my job today," his response was, "I hoped you'd reach that conclusion, but I wanted you to own the decision." 

And while I'm not little suzy-homemaker, my house isn't spotless, I'm not organized, my kids aren't perfect...I can tell you that we're getting there.  We're sacrificing things and those things are just that: things.  I'm no longer sacrificing time.  Time with my kids.  Time to be there to put bandaids on fresh cuts, to let them show me their new tricks on the jungle gym, time to pick apples, time to listen to their stories.  They see my face more now...and less of the back of my head.  Time to rock my baby...rock her calmly, and NOT wish she'd fall asleep fast so I could get some things done.  I have time to pick up my Bible and actually study it.  Study it on my own, study it with my friends, study it with my kids.

I can officially tell you right now:

I am a mom.

I am present.

I am here.

I am listening.

I am smiling.

I am purposeful.

I am passionate.

I am fulfilled.

I am grateful.

Counting Mine {266-275}

266.  Walking into a lily-scented sanctuary.

267.  Sweet little girls in adorable Easter dresses.

268.  Singing my favorite Easter hymns.

269.  Standing next to someone who can hold a note during the Hallelujah Chorus.

270.  A great sermon. 

271.  Adorable boys in coordinating Easter outfits....that I didn't even try to coordinate!

272.  Spending a great afternoon with family.

273.  Carrot cake cupcakes made from scratch- that turned out amazing.

274.  A great Easter well-head picture of our growing family.

275.  Knowing that my Savior conquered death and the devil.  Looking forward to spending an eternity thanking Him for it.



Happy Easter!

Blessings {251-265}

251.  Getting out of the shower to hear my 5 year old son consoling his 5 month old baby sister by singing her a hymn.  And he was successful at getting her to quiet down.

252.  Watching Baby L. discover new things.  Like how to pull down the toy on her car seat...over and over and over again.  Or watching her try to grab the stream of water as it falls on her belly during bath time.

253.  The smell of a freshly bathed, freshly pajama'd baby.  Ooooohhhhh, bliss!

254.  Watching my husband's friends oogle over Baby L. and carry her around church protectively as if she was their own sweet cherub.

255.  Friends who share AWESOME cute baby shoes with me.

256.  Friends who can be just as snarky as I am.

257.  A father-in-law who works for the same company - so I can call him (anytime) with questions.

258.  Clean plates and no fights at dinnertime.

259.  DVR.  Now I can watch The Pioneer Woman anytime!

260.  Kids that can get themselves dressed.

261.  A husband who helps discipline the kids.

262.  Listening to my husband coo to his daughter.  Ohhhh sweetness.

263.  The burn in my lungs after a nice outdoor walk.

264.  Cuddling with the husband.

265.  Throwing "whatever is in the fridge" in a pan, calling it a casserole, and having it turn out awesome.

Counting Mine {241-250}

Thankful.


241.  For a base coat nail polish that fills in all the weird ridges on my nail beds.

242.  Thankful for A's GREAT job in the 3rd. grade spelling bee.  (first place...bragging mom alert!)

243.  For an amazing community feeling I got at the Educational Festival yesterday.  Nice to know we're not the only families that believe in Lutheran Education.

244.  For sweet coffee dates with friends.

245.  For Dave taking a Saturday off once in a while.  Feels like a holiday to have him around with us....I love it.

246.  For our SCRIP program - and using a percentage of formula money to help with tuition.

247.  For date nights.   Coming soon.

248.  For our principal and his wife.  Life wouldn't be the same without them.  What a blessing they are to us and our kids.

249. For the play mat Kathy gave me for Baby L.  Her favorite toy ever.  Buys me precious minutes to get things done.

250.  For infant Tylenol.  Helping teething babes around the world.....and helping their mothers too. :)

Counting Mine {226-240}

I've been slacking on these posts lately...but not less thankful.

So, this early Monday morning, I'm thankful for:


226.  The feel of freshly shaven legs.

227.  A productive cough.  (as opposed to unproductive...and never ending)

228.  A great first meeting with our new small group.  And the excitement about learning.

229.  A husband who helps.

230.  For going an entire week without stubbing my toe (a HUGE feat for me!)

231.  For fun crafts that decorate my home.  Inexpensively.

232.  For discounted prescription-grade vitamins

233.  For fundraisers that make summer camp feasible for my kiddos.

234.  For our girl's school basketball team making it to National's!

235.  A clean house.  And not feeling sand under your bare feet (in.the.living.room)

236.  For the largest new member class our church has seen in a decade.

237.  For a new student in our school.  And the fact that ALL the students are excited to have a new face in the school.

238.  Warmer weather and a few days of beautiful sunshine.

239.  For people who are willing to make others a priority.

240.  I'm so thankful - ever SO thankful that I wasn't the one to discover a HISSING animal in the back of our garage at 7:15 this morning.  So very very thankful.  I'd be even more thankful if that animal walked out of the garage on its own accord today.....

Breaking (off) is hard to do.

Do you have the "Breaking up" song in your head yet?

I love me some oldies songs.  :)


Anyway...a few Counting Blessing posts ago, I alluded to God inspiring my husband and I to take a risky step out in Faith.  (Blessing #204 to be exact)


I purposely left it illusive because we had some key individuals to tell first. 

Due process.

Last night Dave and I informed our small group that we were leaving them to branch off and start a new group.

After 10 years of being in the same group.

One entire decade (well, minus 4 months)....in the same group.

Knowing the same people.

Some couples have come, some have gone...some stayed the same.

These people know me.  I know them.  It is such a tight-knit group.

Then, one random Monday morning, I put Baby L. down for a nap. 

I checked the time- 8:25am.  I jumped in the shower.

As I'm running down my mental to-do list for the day, I can hear a voice in my head,


"It's time to start a new small group."


Whoa. (I thought)


"There's a need for it, and you're ready.  It's time."

And with that, I knew we were ready. 

So that night, I approached Dave at the dinner table,

"I think we should think about starting a new small group."

He stopped eating, looked up at me and said,

"I had that exact same thought this morning after I dropped the boys off at school."

(He drops them off around 8:15...which means we had the same thought right around the same time.)

Side note:  How great is our God?!?!?

Whoa. (we both thought)

So, we started talking about families to ask to join us...two families were brought up right away.

I stepped out of my comfort zone and asked them to join us.

They were both game.

Side note:  How great is our God?!?!?

So, then last night....we told our group.

Bittersweet.

We are sad to leave this group.

We've been together through thick and thin. 

Births, deaths, everything in between.

They are an extension of our family.

But...we're ready.


Dave said our group prayer at the end.

I'd be lying if I said we didn't have lumps in our throats.

Then, our group put us in the middle of the circle, laid their hands on us,

and prayed for us and our mission.

What a blessing.

What an amazing blessing.

To send us out with prayers and love...

So while we are sad to leave the comfort and safety of our group,

Dave and I are certain God is calling us to take this next step in Faith.

As a team.

We're excited for what He's got in store for us and this new group!

Counting Mine 211- 225

211.  Lovely friends. Especially ones that commit to praying for each other.

212.  Painted fingernails.  And lovely shades of gray.

213.  The smell of Aveda hair care products.  It's intoxicating!

214.  Spiritual growth.  New horizons, and new opportunities.

215.  Being able to differentiate myself from others and being willing to stand up for what I believe in.

216.  Being known for my blatant honesty.  At times, not always beneficial.  HOWEVER, no one EVER needs to wonder what I'm thinking or whether or not I'm blowing smoke up their arse.  Cause I just don't.  I say what I mean, and I mean what I say.

217.  Being ok enough to not worry about people's reactions to what I say all the time.

218.  Warm hugs from friends....I love a good hug.

219.  Prayers.  The ones that just fill you with peace at the perfect time.  Oh, how I love those prayers!

220.  Parents willing to take responsibility on how their children are raised and educated.  (this is in both the public and private school system!  parents need to take responsibility regardless of where their child is for 8 hours a day!)

221.  A girl's night out.  A desperately needed girl's night out.  With amazing ladies!

222.  For 90 years of Bumpa.

223.  Snow days.  And an excuse to stay in jammies all day.

224.  For a completely organized walk in closet. Never had one before.  Neither a walk in closet nor an organized one (walk in or not!).

225.  Dinners that don't include a fight at the table.  This included breakfast dinner and hamburger night.  That's it.

Counting Mine 196-210

196.  A husband who works night and day for us.  Literally.

197.  For friends who stick it out with you.  No matter how hard it seems.

198.  Stolen kisses.

199.  A new month....full envelopes.

200.  Super bowl!  And fun commercials.  And chillin' with family.

201.  I currently have every dirty laundry hamper EMPTY in this house.

202.  For Customer Appreciation Weekend at QDoba.  And their willingness to double coupons on top of great deals.

203.  For a great phone conversation with a friend I was worried about.

204.  For God inspiring my husband and I (at the same moment in time) to take a risky step out in Faith.

205.  For that super smooth skin feeling after a great exfoliation.

206.  For Dave's work....it's picking back up again.   Like gang-busters.  Praying that continues.

207.  For our WaterPik.  Seriously awesome.

208.  For a no-fail soup recipe.  Seriously good every time.

209.  For no bake cookies.  And the smile my husband gets every time he pops one in his mouth because they remind him of "when he was a kid."

210.  For daily devotionals that smack me up side the head...and stay in my head all day.

Counting Blessings 171-180

171.  An accountability partner.

172.  Negotiations that go my way.

173.  Talking to someone and realizing that you're not the only person who can see the forest through the trees.

174.  Soy formula.  It's a new addition to our family.  And it's so peaceful.  :)

175.  His sexy little smirk.  (sorry, tmi)

176.  Date night.

177.  Back rubs.  That don't require reciprocation.

178.  A fresh salad

179.  Quiet cuddles with my baby.  Even at 3am.

180.  Finding someone else who is as snarky as I am.