Not Me! Monday

Ok, the Not Me! List is so long, I had to post just to get some of them off my chest.

You can click here to see what everyone has not been doing over the past few days, weeks, or (in my case) months.

- I do not regularly give my toddler my cell phone in order to pacify him while I finish some work tasks. I am not aware that he only likes to hit the buttons- and that's what pacifies him. I do not let him accidentally call my friend while she's a work (sorry, Jeanie!) or my PTL co-chair while she's trying to feed her family dinner. (sorry, Melisa!). Nope, not me! I learned my lesson the first time it happened with my friend, Lesley, at her son's birthday party. I would never repeat mistakes, and totally have the utmost respect for my friend and their time.

- I would not, and certainly AM not trying to get my parents to take the boys overnight this week so I can get some work done. I am well aware that they are taking them for two nights next week, and would never push the envelope (or their feeble bones- ha! Hi mom!) to the limit. When A. asked if he could write them a letter today, and he asked me how to spell "sleepover," I did not do so with the biggest smile on my face. ;P

- I do not overcommit myself. I most certainly did not do that for this coming school year. In an effort to get "ahead of the game" by being prepared, I did not totally stress myself (and my already compromised adrenal system) out. I did not have a little breakdown. I did not skip the first MOPS Steering team meeting just to regain some composure and spend some time catching up on work and in prayer. I always understand my limitations, and would never overcommit myself. I would never shirk my responsiblities to my MOPS Steering team, and would never allow myself to get behind at work- so I would never have to play catch up. Not me! I am super woman, hear. me. roar.

- There is not too much month left at the end of the money this month. I am always miserly, and would never spend our teeny discretionary envelope on capri's and a few new shirts (and training underwear, and a magazine, and a smoothie). I did not feel horribly guilty about the capris and shirts that I returned them to purchase the model rocket, engine and fuse that D. wanted to make with the boys this summer. I always think of my family first, and would never put something as shallow as clothing ahead of our quality time and activities with the boys. Besides, I will totally not scope out the clearance racks next month in the hope that I will find said capris there. (insert evil frugal laugh here- BWAHAHAH!!!)

And a few things I most certainly did not say this month:

• C., no, your poopie does not belong on the floor.....it does not belong on the chair....it does not belong on daddy.  Yes, that would be funny, but gross....let's go put it in the potty, ok?  

• C, think of the asparagas as a long candy stick.  Yum!!!  Tastes yummy, huh?  Uh, oh...D, get a bowl, its coming back up...

• No, there's nothing wrong with my toes, A.  They look that way because of a few reasons...1. Mommy is too lazy to change the half grown out nail polish.  2.  Mommy is too broke to get a pedicure and 3.  When mommy was younger she was too foolish and vain to purchase cute shoes in her huge shoe size (11) and bought little shoes that were on sale, and then she was even more not smart and went out dancing in the all night long....and it messed up mommy's toes......  Yes, that's why mommy is always checking your feet and shoes.

• The other frog?  Oh...looks like he died.....  Yes, it does look like he's been dead for a few days (weeks?).....No, I don't remember the last time we fed him....a few days ago (weeks?) probably....I don't know if we'll see him again someday....I don't think frogs go to heaven because they can't have faith....yes, only God really knows.....yes, we'll find out someday....yes, hopefully a long time from now....yes, God truely is awesome.  I love you too, A.