Not Me! Monday

Ok ok, so I'm a big slacker when it comes to Not Me! Mondays. My blog, my slackerness...my acceptance. I actually wasn't going to post one today, but my internal humor got the better of me. So here goes- all the things I did not do over the past few weeks:

• I do not think it is the funniest thing when Colin says "cuse mi!" every time he passes gas. In addition the giggling I do not do does not encourage him to laugh every time flatulence gets the better of him.
• I do not purposely take my boys grocery shopping to Meijer at morning snack time just to take advantage of the free cookies they give out at the bakery. This just encourages my sons to schlep off free give aways while rotting their teeth and feeding their addition to excessive sugar. I am always diligent about what goes into my sons' mouths and would never encourage them to eat cookies at 10:30 in the morning.
• I do not secretly enjoy watching kids go down our super fast slide out back and laugh out loud when they continue tumbling down the grassy hill. I do not enjoy seeing the look of sheer terror on their faces when they realize that the pitch of our slide is much steeper than others and, therefore, much faster. I certainly do not enjoy watching them try to "style it out" when they find themselves laying at the bottom of the hill.
• I certainly did not load up on dairy one evening just to get Dave back for the sauerkraut farts he bestowed on me the previous evening. That is domestic germ warfare, and I would never hold a grudge for making me want to vomit in bed all night long.

Things I did not say over the past few weeks:

• Colin- seriously...you WILL go blind!!! LET GO!
• Yes, Adam I see that you hurt your butt on the bike. No, I will not kiss your butt.
• Hey, Adam...run inside and grab your dad a beer, will ya? Please?
• Adam, Jesus really likes it when you sit still during church so mommy can listen to the message. He thinks you could even get some chips with lunch if you sit still.

Have a good week, everyone!