Monday, September 14, 2009

Dear Minerva,

Do you remember this lady?

That's right. June Cleaver.

The epitome of the 50's housewife. She had it all. Wonderful, gainfully employed, husband. Great, albeit mischievous, boys who were always super eager to learn a valuable life's lesson. On top of it all, she maintained a flawless appearance and never got flour on her apron.

I almost hate to love her, and I'd love to hate her...but I can't.

Did you know that June Cleaver had a housekeeper?


Yes, the epitome of 50's housewife had a housekeeper.

(First of all, anyone remember what Ward did for a living?
I don't...but I'd like to think about a career change! Just kidding...(kind of))

Story time:

When Dave and I were first married...and adjusting to

perception vs. reality

we both used to say,

"He's no Brad Pit, and she's no June Clever"

Meaning, I crave romance (not that I put Brad Pitt in the same category as romance...actually, I really don't find him that attractive...but I digress..)

And, my husband craves a neat orderly house with dinner on the table-

emphasis on neat and orderly.

So, imagine m mouth agape when we were watching "Leave it to Beaver" one day, and Ward was surprised to see Minerva there that day. At which point, June sweetly said, "Well, I was having a hard time keeping up with the boys, so I told her to come three days a week instead of two."

Ward replied, "Oh, ok."

Nice, huh?!?!?

I was speechless. Dave was snickering- knowing I'd have a little fun with it all - since I was no June Cleaver...or Minerva.

Which brings me to the point I'm making with this post.

I really do not like housework. Really, I don't.

So, sometimes when I'm in the middle of housework- or just thinking doing it- I sometimes pretend to write a letter to Minerva explaining what needs to get done, how things could b done better (you know, like I'm not doing them...)etc.

Since I was folding about 3 weeks worth of laundry today, I thought I'd write a letter like this to her today.

Dear Minerva,

This morning I had only one pair of underwear in my drawer. While this usually isn't a problem, it was pair of maternity underwear that didn't make it into the box when it was packed. This gave me the option to wear it- or go without- a decision I will not disclose to you, but the question itself was unsatisfactory. In addition, Adam was left with few choices for school attire. He ended up wearing a red polo with dress pants- normally not too bad, but really did look like a Target associate.

While we're on the subject of dire laundry straits, I had the choice of drying myself off with either a washcloth or a hand towel after the shower this morning. I really do prefer using a bath towel. I am hopeful that I will have one to use tomorrow morning.

It is my understanding that you are washing clothes regularly, but not folding them and putting them away right away. What are you doing with them?'re putting them in a pile on the basement floor?!?! You know, I'm not too jazzed about that either. That floor isn't the cleanest in the first place. Also, sitting in a crumpled pile for two weeks isn't the most ideal way to keep our cotton tshirts wrinkle free. If you could fold them when they come out of the dryer, that would be preferred. That way we can also avoid scenes like this:

While I do understand that folding that much laundry does tend to make anyone's back hurt, and it is much easier to fold, sort and pile on the kitchen table, we do use that table to eat as a family. We were able to overlook this during lunch time when Colin and I could just have a picnic outside. However, family dinner time needs to be together and not in front of the television. Mr. Hop and I would appreciate it if you could start and finish this chore in one foul swoop.

Many thanks,

Mr. and Mrs. Hop

P.S. Mr. Hop only has one non-wrinkled shirt for church on Sunday. Could you please do some ironing on your next visit? Thanks.


Unknown said...

O I loved this. I'm not the only one who is drowning in laundry. I only have a washer and no dryer, so I have clothes lines in the basement. Takes about 8 hrs to dry one load....Jesus help us....

Kathy said...

Hilarious! And I had NO IDEA that June Cleaver had a maid!!! How did I not know this?? I've seen that show plenty of times but it has been a few years. Now I feel less guilty about my own dwelling. ;0)

Keely said...

I need a Minerva..ASAP! Loved it!!

Liz said...

Thank you for making me laugh!

Summer said...

I had no idea about Minerva! You crack me up, and I am thinking of what to write Minerva myself. She's been slacking off round my house, too.

the deKorne family said...

i wish you had a picture of HER!!! so funny. definitely some valuable information i learned from you!!

Anonymous said...

I loved this post so much that I was reduced to tears from laughing so hard. Thank you for finding my blog, so that I could stumble over to yours!!!

Joy and Randy said...

Every time I read one of your blogs, I can literally hear you in my head as if we were talking to each other! I love reading your entries when I actually remember to visit your site. :)