Series: Life's too short....

 This seems to be a theme in my messages with friends and loved ones.

Whether we're talking about the pandemic...

Or even something else entirely.

Perhaps this thinking comes with maturing age?

One can only think so.

Either way...

Here's some sage (or not so sage) advice I've learned along the way.

Life's too short: Series 1

Life is too short...

....to wear uncomfortable undergarments.

Go ahead...

snicker,  

scoff...

laugh...

but, dang it...

it's true.

Most of the worst days I've had, I'm dealing with VPL* or waistband rolling, or pinching...

...or underwire digging, or shoulder straps falling...       

...or the wrong size- so their falling down, or constricting my breathing...

I mean...it's a valid point.

It is important to have as #1?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

The perfect undergarments = a good start to a potentially good day.

Bad undergarments = even if the day was good, it's still annoying...

...and draws constant attention to ill-fitting bits-holding.

Recently, I had had enough.  My closet was full of cheap bras I picked up off the clearance rack.  They didn't fit right.  I tried to be a good steward of the $4-6 I wasted...but it's just wasted money.  They had to go.  I found my favorite bra, researched the best price, and went out to find one of every color.  Boom.

Same with underwear.  Now, that was a slightly more expensive and extensive endeavor.  It involved more  measuring, and some trial and error.  I finally found them, though.  My favorites.  

(and now they have been retooled and nothing like the originals...so, I have a total of 6 good pairs that I love...but hey, it's a start)

A good day begins with good undergarments.

And life's too short to not have a good day. 

*Visible Panty Lines

Cancer: the rest of the story

Quite some time ago, I was asked to give a talk about Provision at my Moms on a Mission Group

 (think what follows MOPS)

I thought I'd post it here.

This also explains the rest of the cancer story.  

(sorry for the three year cliff hanger)

___________________________________________________________________________________

When I received the text asking me to speak this morning about “God’s provision in my life” today, I was sitting at a track meet in Reed City surrounded by a BUNCH of 3-8 grade kids.  It was cold, getting wetter by the minute, and windy.  

But I loved every minute of this day.  

And while the weather wasn’t my favorite – I constantly remember when we were battling infertility, and the me-back-then would have given my right arm to be sitting there that day.  I’m instantly filled with gratitude for the blessing of where I’m at.

 

Then I start thinking about the word 

“provision.”  

My mind goes straight to blessings:

-I have a family.  An amazing family – a loving humble, hard-working husband who can and does so many things for me…including building me a house from scratch.  (And God’s given me ALMOST enough patience to get through it.) He’s also given me 3 children – alive, and loving life.  2 more in heaven with the hope that we will all be reunited someday.  Then the things start, right? House, running cars, work in a building where my 2 littles go to school, I could go on. 

(and on and on and on)

 
There are times in life where the blessings are abundant.  But it wasn’t during a period I would have wished on myself.  In November 2017, it was finally time for an endometrial ablation.  I was all “Yay! No more monthly visits!” But one week later, I received a call, 

“Sandy…we found cancer.  

You have cancer.  

You need more surgery.  

This is your oncologist’s name.  

They will call you.”  

The fear that descended at that moment was nothing short of crippling.  I don’t want more surgery.  What if I suffer?  What if I die? What will become of my kids? 
 
But during this time of fear that cut me to the quick, there was an abundance of God’s provision like I’ve never seen in my life.  To name a few: 

Dave was home after I received the call. (he's ALWAYS gone working)

My pastor was immediately available for prayer. 

Friends just happened to be just around the corner when I called them, and just stopped by.  

Over the course of the next week, God surrounded me and my family with the most amazing community of people who served us as the Hands and Feet of Jesus.  Once I finally got the appointment at the oncologist, so many pieces fell into place, and my surgery was able to jump into a cancellation a mere 3 days later. 
 
The day of my surgery, God worked overtime showing me that He was near- a pastor who showed up as I was just climbing into bed.  (and I will say we had so much fun those 2 hours before the surgery!) The same discharge nurse from my ablation whom I LOVED became my intake nurse for surgery.  The same OR nurse who knew I needed to sing a hymn to calm myself down walked me into the surgical suite.  An oncologist I had 100% confidence in.  Suzanne sent her sister in to greet me at one point. And an endless supply of prayer from all over. 

What a gift.

 
While I was busy trying to eradicate cancer from my body, my kiddos had experiences of their own.  This is where I tell you a bit about MiddleC's story:

My sweet middle son.  He's a lot like me:  Hard shell to crack, but trusting, kind, loyal and very gooey on the inside.  

We prayed together as a family before they left for school.  He held my hand so tight.

So very tight.  

He hugged me with tears brimming his eyes.

He struggled to leave me that morning.

He struggled to stay focused at school that whole day.  Watching the clock.  Knowing I would be in surgery starting at noon.  He couldn't read.  Couldn't focus.  Couldn't eat.  He tried to put on a good show for everyone around him, but he just wanted to be near me.  

He had a basketball game after school.  My surgery ended around 4:30.  The news was cautiously optimistic.  While it wasn't a cut-and-dry surgery, the oncologist reported that she didn't see any cancer cells outside the uterus or in surrounding lymphnodes. (Thank you, God).  Dave had a small list of numbers to text letting them know how I was doing and the outcome of the surgery.  One of them was my dear friend, Heather.  She is a member of my Tribe.  A person I trust to love and care for my children just as I would for hers. She got Dave's text, and at half time went into the team room to give Colin the report.

"I got a text from your dad."

Colin stands and holds his breath. 
He's lion-hearted:
He's going to be brave in this moment. 
He stands tall and strong.

"Your mom is out of surgery.  

She's doing well. 

 It looks like there's no evidence

 of cancer on the outside of the uterus.  

This is good news!"

Exhale.

My boy crumbled.

He crumbled to the floor.  

He wept.

This is where I tell you that we struggled coming to this school. 
A few years prior, 

Our old school closed in a horrible way.  

It took a while for us to feel like this new school was home.  

But...all that heartbreak...all that angst leaving the old behind:  

WORTH IT 

for this moment right here.

Read on.  

This team of young 5th and 6th grade boys?

They crumbled with him.  

They dog piled on him weaping tears of joy with him.

And then - completely umprompted- they ALL broke into song.  

The Doxology:

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow.  Praise Him all creatures here below

Praise Him above ye Heavenly hosts.  Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.  Amen!"

Then, they jumped up, wiped their tears, ran back into the gym and had an amazing second half.

What a gift.

 
Afterward, we received another abundance of God’s provision by more prayer for healing, endless hugs, friends who came to babysit me (and Lucy), rides for our busy family for the next two weeks and so much love through food that our refrigerator was busting at the seams.  

And then, at my follow-up, 

I was given a provision of 

great relief with a Stage 1A ,

 no further treatment needed.  

What a gift.

 
And that’s just this one little fraction of my life thus far.  And that’s a big life event.  In the midst of suffering, God was so clearly abundant.  He’s also in the midst of all my days.  

Mundane, acute, all of them.  

He provides a loving environment for my kids to flourish every day.  An amazing group of friends that I hold dear.  Family that makes me REALLY appreciate my friends.  (I kid….).  All of which I am so grateful for.
 

But…then I think.  

Even if my cancer outcome had been different. 
Even if I had never been able to bear children. 
Even if I was living in a box under a bridge. 
Heck, even without the box under a bridge….

God is still God and God is still good. 

  I need to keep reminding myself of this every time I don’t want to go to the oncologist for some unknown complication….when I don’t want to drive to yet another practice, when I really don’t want to make dinner again….when I see all my friends travelling over spring break, and I’m coveting their adventures….God is still providing for me.  God is still good.  He still provides.

 
And really the ONLY provision I need is Christ crucified.  That’s it.  Nothing else matters.  If I didn’t wake up from surgery, I would open my eyes to Jesus’ face.  Win.  If I lived through surgery (which, I did….spoiler alert), I wake to see loved ones God provided me.  Win.  In the midst of suffering, I had a win/win situation.  

What a gift.  

What mercy.  

What grace.

 
My church is what we call a “confessional Lutheran church.”  Mostly this means that every Sunday, together as a congregation, we recite a creed.  We have 3 to choose from, but mostly we recite the Apostle’s creed.  It’s a statement of faith.  Unwaivering.  The words are succinct and to the point.  And sometimes the repetition of it every week drones on, but it’s like the pledge of allegiance.  It unites.  So many churches all over the world are saying the same words.  The same beliefs.  

Martin Luther has authored a Small Catechism where he breaks down so many things into manageable bites and explains them.  The 10 commandments are in there, as is the Lord’s Prayer, Apostle’s Creed is in there, as well.  He breaks it apart and this is the first article…from the first sentence and its meaning:
 
 
The First Article
Creation
I believe in God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth.
 
What does this mean?
I believe that God has made me and all creatures; that He has given me my body and soul, eyes, ears, and all my members, my reason and all my senses, and still takes care of them.
 
He also gives me clothing and shoes, food and drink, house and home, wife and children, land, animals, and all I have. He richly and daily provides me with all that I need to support this body and life.
 
He defends me against all danger and guards and protects me from all evil. All this He does only out of fatherly, divine goodness and mercy, without any merit or worthiness in me. For all this it is my duty to thank and praise, serve and obey Him.
This is most certainly true.
 
 

And this provision is truly all I need.  

Him.  

For me.  

His grace and mercy.  

What a gift.

This space

How have I neglected this space for so long?

This used to be a great space.

My space.

My corner of the world to be snarky, sassy, honest, me.

Part of me looks back and wonders

Where have I gone?

Did I evolve? Change with the times?

Or have I forgotten myself?

Put joy on the back burner?

The fact of the matter is that 

I miss this space.

Maybe this will become a gift to myself.

Respect

Hopper used to plow. When we first for married, he started doing it for extra money. And then, it just turned into a way to earn emjust enough to meet our medical deductibles. Then it became a bit too much, then a lot too much, then he just aged out.

Plowing is young man's work.

Hopper was called by his guy and asked to substitute plow for a night. He reluctantly agreed.

Because he knows it's hard on his body. It's hard on his brain.  It's hard on his regular work schedule. It's just hard.

But, he agreed.

Because, as a business owner,  he knows what it means to have unreliable labor. He knows what it means to want to maintain a good business reputation. So, he agreed.

To help a fellow business owner.

To help a friend.

To make some extra money.

So, as I'm setting the coffee pot to turn on at 2am, I prayed. For protection for this amazing man. For this man who doesn't think it's a big deal- what he's doing is daily work. It's just what he does.

But it's something I believe is worthy of admiration.

And respect.

Marriage and morning people

I'm married to a morning person

I am not not NOT a morning person.

To top it off, my morning person gets up at 4:45 am (yes, on purpose!) to get some paperwork done before he leaves for the day.

Every morning at 7am (ish), he comes to wake me up and kiss me goodbye. 95% of the time, I am still asleep when he comes in.

He's geared up for the day.

I am still semi-comatose.

Clearly, a great time to have a conversation! This morning went like this:

D: what's on your agenda today?

Me: mmmmmmpppppffffffff

D: are you working today?

Me: uuuuuuuummmmm think so

D: did you see the new football practice times? 9:30 to eleven and 3 to 5:30. You're helping JT at the 11:30 one, right? Are you doing all the others too?

Me: sooooooo many nuuuuuuumbers.

D: what are you going to do with the kids?

Me: we have kids?

D:  what's the tee time on the calendar? You going golfing?

Me: what day is it again?

......

Me (again): yes....the orthodontist guy has patient appreciation....thanks for all your money, here have a golf ball.

D: I love you, have a good day.
Me: love you too. (Rolls over and dozes)

(He, on the other hand, is packed up and off to save the world- one well built house at a time).

Counting mine {482-493}

482. Summer

483. Returned phone calls

484. Invitations to dinner

485. Gin

486. Fantastic nephews

487. Family pictures where the kids play along

488. Being able to host dinner

489. Employment

490. Facebook marketplace. (I'll never pay full price for anything ever again!)

491. Friends with pools

492. Sunscreen

493. Fireworks

Not great news ...

So, my friends....please forgive my faux pas in delivering hard news via social media- BUT I am coveting your prayer. I had an endometrial ablation last week, and pathology reports are now back showing cancer cells in my uterus. 
So, what do we know? Well, not much. We are in this horrible waiting period between dropping the big C-bomb and a call from the oncologist.  I do know that I can expect a full radical hysterectomy and lymph node resections. From there, pathology will tell us the official grade and the best course of treatment.
What do we need? (Besides a return call!!) Prayer. Lots of prayer, and I'm always available for free hugs. ;)  Lots of grace for some high-emotion kids, and some safe support for my husband. I'm sure as this ball starts rolling, we will have PLENTY of needs, and we will not hesitate to ask. (This may be hard for me-please keep reminding me to ask).  But those that already know- thank you for showing the amazing community in the body of Christ. You are His hands and feet, and He is shining Light through you. Thank you!

This is scary, this is hard, but God is near.

Screen detox

So...here's where I lay myself vulnerable.

Here's where I show you a triumph.

I've been feeling quite convicted lately about screens. With our whole family in general, but especially with my kids.

What started as "background companion noise" when Adubya was a baby has turned into a full-blown lifestyle.

TV on all the time, 

tablets the go-to anesthesia.

Then MiddleC and LittleL had their tonsils out a month ago, and we hit deafcon 5 slothdom. TV was on all.the.time, charging cables were in every outlet.

You guys, it was bad.

Two weeks ago, we were taking Adubya to camp,  and I took the opportunity to plant a seed with the kids: I explained my concern about their behavior now, what it means for their future, and the sadness it brought me. 

They all actually thought about it.

We decreased screens quite a bit while Adubya was gone.  Then, the day we picked him up, we left for camping.

Sunday to Sunday my boy had gone without any screen. So, I decided....it was time.

Monday morning, the screens went silent.

We went Monday through Friday without any screen of any sort.

(Exception: my phone. I used it to contact people to make play dates and coordinate some of my commitments).

I'm going to do my findings in list form:

- With the exception of Monday morning,  every morning thereafter was blissfully silent. I came out to both boys reading on the couches. Now, if LittleL was up before me, I HAD to get up since she requires adult supervision,  but even toward the end of the week, Adubya was pouring her cereal, and MiddleC was reading her books. (Bless me!)

- Both boys made themselves goals to finish books. MiddleC finished 3, Adubya finished a long one and started on another. They both enjoyed reading these books, and were excited to tell me about what they were reading. (Not super exciting stufd, but they wanted to tell me, so I'll listen anyday!!)

-Errands were fun. Yep, you heard me....FUN. Why? Because no one was trying to rush me through anything to get back home to screens. At one point, Adubya said "yeah, let's try there too...we've got nothing but time..."

- The boys worked together. Monday, they came up with the idea of a cardboard fort. They put their money together to buy a roll of gorilla tape, asked me to drive them around looking for cardboard, and built a fort. This was not without artistic differences, mind you, but after a little FOB time, and a quick talk from mom, they quickly joined forces again and built a fortress.

- We had a total of 4 meltdowns this week. Four.  (Bonus! None of them mine! Ha!). You guys...coming off screens ends up in daily meltdowns from each kid. Multiple daily meltdowns for one specific kiddo.  Four. Blissful four. What a difference!!! (FOUR!!!)

- I stepped up my parenting game. I almost felt like a teacher: planning out our days ahead of time. I was careful to have a little bit of fun time with friends,  physical activity time, quiet time, and then unstructured play. I was present. I was engaged.  Guess what? I liked it. And I have some pretty amazing kids with some great things to say.

- I became an authority in their lives again. Not a problem with LittleL,  but with the boys, they had started untying apron strings on me. They were listening to their bloggers more than me- this week, they reengaged with me too. While they do listen to me, I think the dialogue changed this week. It was more open, honest, fun, and encouraging. 

- Chores got done. Timely and completely.  It was great! We did less chores at the beginning of the week, and kept life fun to encourage us to get to Friday. We did more and more toward the end of the week,  but they were motivated because there was the promise of ice cream and a movie on Friday night.

- We had fun. Structured and unstructured fun. Talking, swimming, laughing, board games, fun.

So, going forward, what does this mean?

Well, we're going to try to let them have some screens, but nothing close to where it was before.

I remember once,  a mentor of mine, Cheryl, called screens a theif.

She was right: they steal.

They steal attention, brain cells, time, parental control,  imagination.

I let that theif keep stealing things until I had little left to give.

No more.

So, we're going to try to do light screens for now, and if the meltdowns come back, if the time gets stolen, if the obsession returns, then they all go off.

For good.

And I'd be totally OK with that!

Smart guy

Dave: Did you get your haircut today?

Me: no (thinking what did I do differently this morning to make my hair look just-cut worthy)

Me: why? Does it look different?

Dave:  Nah. Just being proactive.

:)

Lion's heart

So.

We're smack dab in the middle of baseball season. Manic May, y'all.

I have a color-coded calendar. And a color-coded menu. Me, the furthest from type A, is color coding things....yeah.

But in the midst of this busy season- where hurried is the life we lead, sometimes

                   ....sometimes....

God has me sitting on the sidelines and he shows me a calm ray of sunshine. Things that our overbooked calendar can show.

Life lessons.

So, last Saturday...I'm at the end of 6 hours at the ball fields.  Adubya had a game at 9am, MiddleC had a game at 11:45.

Abudya's team won. It was a fun game to watch.

Onto MiddleC's game. This is where I tell you that they are undefeated this season. They have learned and played together so well as a team, I have been so proud of them.

This particular game was out of the ordinary. Our starting and back-up pictures were struggling on the mound. Walk after walk. Even our bats weren't as hot as they had been in every other game.

Our team was having an off-day.

We were at the end of MiddleC's game.

 In his age bracket, they usually only play through the sixth inning. At the bottom of the sixth inning our boys were tied 3 to 3. The coaches and umpires talked and said that we had extra time before the next game started, so we would play through the seventh inning.

Our team was up to bat first. In this inning we score 2 runs. The score is now 5 to 3.

After the third out, I see MiddleC running up to the pitcher's mound. He had such determination in his eyes. All he had to do was hold off any runs, and they would win the game!

He knows he's capable of this.

I know he's capable of this.

But, ohhhh, did my mama's heart fret on the sidelines.

Batter one: walk

Batter two: walk

Batter three: hit, caught, out

Batter four: walk

Walk.

Walk.

Walk.

Walk.

I could see him struggling.  I could see him not give up. He kept trying. Harder and harder.

Walk. Score.

Walk. Score.

Tied.

Walk. Score.

End of game.

They won.

He exhaled.  His shoulders left their determined strength on the mound, now slumped.  He was trying to hold it together.

And then the coach walks up to him and gives him encouragement.  His teammates join in trying to bolster his heart.

Cue: tears.

My heart hurt for him. Physically hurt. I'm watching on the sidelines- it's not yet my turn to comfort. Mom's don't belong on the field, but

Oooohhhh, did I want to scoop him up.

He cried again when he came to me.  And here are the words God gave me in this moment:

MiddleC, it takes a special kind of kid to even walk up to the pitcher's mound under that kind of preasure. It takes a special kid to STAY on the mound in the midst of a struggle. Someone who will walk into a pressure cooker, and someone who sticks with it: that takes courage. Lots and lots of courage. And while we would have loved to be able to brag about a huge victory today, that's not the story that was written. It didn't go the way we wanted...but if we had won, I wouldn't have had a beautiful glimpse at something.

What, he asks.

Your lion's heart.  Your courage. Your determination. Your amazing ability to admit fault, even with an entire team riding on your shoulders. You are fierce, you are strong, and you have an amazing courage. I have never been more proud.

So, I learned something on Saturday. MiddleC has the heart of a lion. He has courage under the hardest of 9 year old circumstances.  Thank you, God,  for giving me this glimpse in the midst of his heartbreak.

Counting mine {474- 481}

474. Payday for the kid: having him walk into the bank to cash his check, and watching him joyfully fill his tithe envelope first.

475. Watching the eyes opening of fellow friends when you tell them about how amazing Jesus is.

476.  Holding a sweet baby less than 24 hours old

477. The daddy who see when his little girl needs to get out of a situation  with unkind girls. He walks her to the concession stand for a ring pop, and on the way fills her head with kind thoughts.

478. Sunday nights

479. Getting a text from the best inviting me to birthday breakfast

481. Gluten free stuffed french toast.

Counting Mine {461-473}

461. Pure friendships. Ones that are happy for your successes, sad for your struggles, open armed, and lack drama.

462. Fun afternoons of coffee, friendship, and political talk....even if you're on different sides of the aisle.

463.  Finding a cute outfit in the back of the closet (on laundry day!)

464.  Baby snuggles

465. Leasurely walks on a beautiful sunny day

466. Walking through a store at the perfect time when the employee is putting stuff on the ultimate clearance, and finding 14 pairs of underwear and 2 bras for $5.

467.  Finding the perfect gift for the birthday girl- within budget

468. Coming out of a mental fog

469.  Snuggles with the dog

470. Morning thunderstorms - on a day where we had no where we needed to be.

471.  Getting a genuine smile from someone who doesn't smile much

472. Seeing friends I haven't seen in...well, too long

473. Unexpected inclusion

Love

His love for me put Him there .

His love for you put Him there.

His love for the best people put Him there.

His love for the worst people put Him there.

He didn't want to do it.

He knew what was coming, and prayed, begged, his Father to "take this cup from me."

But he did it.

Love isn't always sunshine and roses.

It's not always feel good.

Sometimes, most times, it's service and sacrifice.

This was the ultimate service.

This was the Ultimate Sacrifice.

This was love.

Counting Mine {447-460}

447. Remembering the phone charger

448. And when you forget the charger, remembering the external battery.

449. Remembering to charge the external battery

450. Great clearance sales  that fit like a glove

451. Taking a chance and buying a dress off amazon, and having it fit well.

452. Early morning snuggles with Ally

453. Wine

454. A night with friends and wine

455. No wine hangover

456. The smell of the dirt in a freshly turned garden

457. The song of a Robin

458. When the 13 year old declares that he will do his own laundry from now on

459. A cavity free check up

460. The start of baseball season

458. Hitting your water intake goal three days in a row

460. Date nights that include lots of laughter

A final farewell

We've tried to say good-bye before: you and me.

But I kept needing you.

We met 14 years ago...

This shiny newness....neither of us knew what was coming. How our paths would walk together for so long.  Your usefulness in so many different ways.

Your reliability: unparalleled.

Your durability: unmatched.

You held my children. All 3.

You allowed them rest. You were there for clapping at parades. For the first big walk around the new neighborhood. For the off-roading of the baseball fields. You were there.

Dear old friend, you were no frills. Not a trendy name; no bells and whistles. I loved you for it. Nothing broke, nothing stolen, just a sturdy companion.

They are 13, 9 and 4 now. Grown enough to walk almost everywhere. And, well....you see, the back of my van is getting full already with folding chairs and sports equipment. We are moving into an entirely new chapter. You were one of the last holds I had on the old one. I loved you for hanging in there so long.

I watched as somebody bought you. I hope and pray that they take good care of you, trusted steed. I pray for their littles, and for this amazing chapter of life they are in. Oh, the chapter of bringing babies into the world. The crazy sleep-deprived diaper/feeding scheduling chapter. But also one filled with amazing discoveries and big surprises (see aforementioned 4 year old).  What a joy. What a privilege. What a chapter.

Farewell, old friend.

Top ten: things I learned or loved this week

1. An afternoon spent getting to know a new friend (and her sweet baby) over coffee is a great afternoon indeed.

2. I love getting emails from my son's teacher when she's advocating for him. It means he is loved by her.

3. I also have no problem sending a reply that essentially says "dude, I give up."

4.  I'm less and less impressed by all the protesting or pandering....not that I was at all impressed in the first place.

5.  It's never never never fun to be the one who is disregarded.  But always good to be that person once in a while. It keeps one mindful about inclusion.

6.  Sweet baby head smell. Enough said.

7.  Crabby kid= a kid who needs more sleep. Every crabby remark results in 5 minutes subtracted from bedtime. MiddleC has earned a good night sleep tonight.

8.  Filling their tank fills my tank. One-on-one time with these kids is so so beneficial to our relationships.

9.  A nice pair of earrings is icing on the cake of a great outfit. Also a great way to dress up some yoga pants. Just sayin.

10.  Sunshine. I love it. Please send more.

Ten on Tuesday: things I want to be better at

Life is full of areas for improvement, isn't it? At least, it is for me. The dialogue inside my head is always showing me where I fall short.

Like it or lump it,  it's true.

This is where I need to be careful to not allow Satan to get a foothold here. His words are lies determined to bring me into a dark hole.

I need to work on looking for the light in that hole. A nudge from the Holy Spirit never brings me into a darker place, rather it brings me closer to the Light. It lifts me rather than condemns me. 

Since we are at the end of January,  I thought it would be fitting to do a list of areas I feel the Holy Spirit nudging. 

Not for an attagurl,  but for accountability :

1. Less helpless, more helpful.
Focus less on where I can't help, and more on where I can.

2. Less selfies, more selfless
I have taken more selfies in 2016 than any other year. I need to point the camera OUT more, rather than back at me.

3.  Less lazy, more movement
Clean. Help. Exercise. Be productive. Move.

4. Less inconsistent, more consistent.
Stick to the rules. Follow the schedule.  Get things done.

5. Less judging, more grace.
Grace begets grace.

6. Less grudges, more forgiveness.
What does true forgiveness look like here?

7. Less write-offs, more relationships.
Why do we, as humans, feel it's so easy to write people off? Why do we distance ourselves from them because we worship our own social standing? I want to stand in the gap.

8. Less talking. More action.
Let me be a person who gets things done.

9. Less speakin, more listening.
I was given two ears and one mouth for a reason.

10. Less me, more God.
This speaks for myself.

Inauguration feelings

So, we have a new president.

Here's where I start this post by telling you that I wasn't really rooting for anyone in this race.  He wasn't my first, second, or third choice....but oh golly....did I not want her to win either.

Yeah, we're going to touch on politics on this blog.

Eight years ago, I felt betrayed by my fellow voters. That they had failed to do the research I had. Fear for the future that lay ahead. I felt voiceless,  helpless, hopeless.

A lot of what the other half is probably feeling today, to be honest. Guess what guys....I understand how you feel!

And just how I felt, you will get through these next few years. You will feel frustrated.  You will feel helpless and hopeless. While I'm sad you'll probably feel that way (because it's uncomfortable to feel this way,  right?), you CAN do one thing:

Pray.

You can pray.

You can pray that our government will stand firm and strong. You can pray for our success. We're all on this same boat,  and no one wants to sink.

For the past eight years, I've prayed for God to guide president Obama, and I'm going to do the same for president Trump.

Join me, please.

Six

You guys.

Six.

Six blog posts in one year.

Total.

I miss you all. I miss this space.

I miss the relief.

I miss the voice.

Not a day goes by that I don't have a potential blog post running through my head.

But it never gets to this space.

I'm going to try to change that.

At the VERY least, I'm going to try to beat my number from last year!

Hope to see more of you soon!

(In the meantime, Go Pack Go!)

Yesterday, I turned forty.

So, yesterday was my birthday.

It was a bigger one.

Forty.

Four. Zero.

Anyway, for some

(Weird, unknown, crazy, bizarre )

Reason, I decided it would be a GREAT idea to find a few new clothes.

Something cute for my birthday dinner date with the hubs

So, I decided to try one some jeans.

Yes, on my 40th birthday.

I found some cute trendy ones...

...some with frayed holes...

Cute in the hanger.

I tried them on...

And laughed.

You know what it looked like when I looked in the mirror?

Mid-life crisis