Lion's heart

So.

We're smack dab in the middle of baseball season. Manic May, y'all.

I have a color-coded calendar. And a color-coded menu. Me, the furthest from type A, is color coding things....yeah.

But in the midst of this busy season- where hurried is the life we lead, sometimes

                   ....sometimes....

God has me sitting on the sidelines and he shows me a calm ray of sunshine. Things that our overbooked calendar can show.

Life lessons.

So, last Saturday...I'm at the end of 6 hours at the ball fields.  Adubya had a game at 9am, MiddleC had a game at 11:45.

Abudya's team won. It was a fun game to watch.

Onto MiddleC's game. This is where I tell you that they are undefeated this season. They have learned and played together so well as a team, I have been so proud of them.

This particular game was out of the ordinary. Our starting and back-up pictures were struggling on the mound. Walk after walk. Even our bats weren't as hot as they had been in every other game.

Our team was having an off-day.

We were at the end of MiddleC's game.

 In his age bracket, they usually only play through the sixth inning. At the bottom of the sixth inning our boys were tied 3 to 3. The coaches and umpires talked and said that we had extra time before the next game started, so we would play through the seventh inning.

Our team was up to bat first. In this inning we score 2 runs. The score is now 5 to 3.

After the third out, I see MiddleC running up to the pitcher's mound. He had such determination in his eyes. All he had to do was hold off any runs, and they would win the game!

He knows he's capable of this.

I know he's capable of this.

But, ohhhh, did my mama's heart fret on the sidelines.

Batter one: walk

Batter two: walk

Batter three: hit, caught, out

Batter four: walk

Walk.

Walk.

Walk.

Walk.

I could see him struggling.  I could see him not give up. He kept trying. Harder and harder.

Walk. Score.

Walk. Score.

Tied.

Walk. Score.

End of game.

They won.

He exhaled.  His shoulders left their determined strength on the mound, now slumped.  He was trying to hold it together.

And then the coach walks up to him and gives him encouragement.  His teammates join in trying to bolster his heart.

Cue: tears.

My heart hurt for him. Physically hurt. I'm watching on the sidelines- it's not yet my turn to comfort. Mom's don't belong on the field, but

Oooohhhh, did I want to scoop him up.

He cried again when he came to me.  And here are the words God gave me in this moment:

MiddleC, it takes a special kind of kid to even walk up to the pitcher's mound under that kind of preasure. It takes a special kid to STAY on the mound in the midst of a struggle. Someone who will walk into a pressure cooker, and someone who sticks with it: that takes courage. Lots and lots of courage. And while we would have loved to be able to brag about a huge victory today, that's not the story that was written. It didn't go the way we wanted...but if we had won, I wouldn't have had a beautiful glimpse at something.

What, he asks.

Your lion's heart.  Your courage. Your determination. Your amazing ability to admit fault, even with an entire team riding on your shoulders. You are fierce, you are strong, and you have an amazing courage. I have never been more proud.

So, I learned something on Saturday. MiddleC has the heart of a lion. He has courage under the hardest of 9 year old circumstances.  Thank you, God,  for giving me this glimpse in the midst of his heartbreak.