- I did not take the library books back the the library and return them through the drive thru only to tell Adam that the library was closed today to avoid paying my over $10 late fee. This is outright lying to my child, and I would never do that- even to avoid paying a late fee.
- I did not wait until my children were in bed to gather some of their toys to clean and post in our MOPS consignment sale. This shows my children that it pays to be sneaky especially when money is involved. I would never put monetary gain over my children's need for excessive stuff laying around my house.
- I did not "accidentally" ruin Adam's favorite shirt in the laundry because it was two sizes too small for him. That would be purposely taking away one of the things that brings him great joy thus making me a very selfish mom only being concerned with how my kids "look" in public.
- I did not accidentally let one slip out in line for the register at Target and start to blame Colin's "dirty diaper" when I realized it wasn't a non-stinker. Colin did not work in my favor by replying "uh-huh" when I asked him if he was stinky.
Things I did not say this week (which are just as funny as things I did not do!):
- No, Adam, it is NOT the United Stated of Barack Obama. It's the United States of America. Barack Obama is just the stupid president.
- Colin, let go of your stuff. You will go blind.
- Colin, it is not ok to ride Molly. It doesn't matter if you say giddy-up or not. You need to get off her. NOW!
- No, Adam you cannot tow daddy's work van up the driveway with your bike and a tow strap. Nice ambition, though.
- Good question, Adam. But daddy is not Bob the Builder. Do you see Scoop and Muck anywhere in the garage? Yes, it would be cool if they were.