Whether we're talking about the pandemic...
Tuesday, December 8, 2020
Series: Life's too short....
Whether we're talking about the pandemic...
Friday, October 9, 2020
Cancer: the rest of the story
Quite some time ago, I was asked to give a talk about Provision at my Moms on a Mission Group
(think what follows MOPS)
I thought I'd post it here.
This also explains the rest of the cancer story.
(sorry for the three year cliff hanger)
___________________________________________________________________________________
When I received the text asking me to speak this morning about “God’s provision in my life” today, I was sitting at a track meet in Reed City surrounded by a BUNCH of 3-8 grade kids. It was cold, getting wetter by the minute, and windy.
But I loved every minute of this day.
And while the weather wasn’t my favorite – I
constantly remember when we were battling infertility, and the me-back-then
would have given my right arm to be sitting there that day. I’m instantly filled with gratitude for the
blessing of where I’m at.
“provision.”
My mind goes straight to blessings:
-I have a family. An amazing family – a loving humble, hard-working husband who can and does so many things for me…including building me a house from scratch. (And God’s given me ALMOST enough patience to get through it.) He’s also given me 3 children – alive, and loving life. 2 more in heaven with the hope that we will all be reunited someday. Then the things start, right? House, running cars, work in a building where my 2 littles go to school, I could go on.
“Sandy…we found cancer.
You have cancer.
You need more surgery.
This is your oncologist’s name.
They will call you.”
The fear that descended at that moment was
nothing short of crippling. I don’t want
more surgery. What if I suffer? What if I die? What will become of my
kids?
Dave was home after I received the call. (he's ALWAYS gone working)
My pastor was immediately available for prayer.
Friends just happened to be just around the corner when I called them, and just stopped by.
Over the course of the next week, God
surrounded me and my family with the most amazing community of people who
served us as the Hands and Feet of Jesus.
Once I finally got the appointment at the oncologist, so many pieces
fell into place, and my surgery was able to jump into a cancellation a mere 3 days
later.
What a gift.
My sweet middle son. He's a lot like me: Hard shell to crack, but trusting, kind, loyal and very gooey on the inside.
We prayed together as a family before they left for school. He held my hand so tight.
So very tight.
He hugged me with tears brimming his eyes.
He struggled to leave me that morning.
He struggled to stay focused at school that whole day. Watching the clock. Knowing I would be in surgery starting at noon. He couldn't read. Couldn't focus. Couldn't eat. He tried to put on a good show for everyone around him, but he just wanted to be near me.
He had a basketball game after school. My surgery ended around 4:30. The news was cautiously optimistic. While it wasn't a cut-and-dry surgery, the oncologist reported that she didn't see any cancer cells outside the uterus or in surrounding lymphnodes. (Thank you, God). Dave had a small list of numbers to text letting them know how I was doing and the outcome of the surgery. One of them was my dear friend, Heather. She is a member of my Tribe. A person I trust to love and care for my children just as I would for hers. She got Dave's text, and at half time went into the team room to give Colin the report.
"I got a text from your dad."
Colin stands and holds his breath.
He's lion-hearted:
He's going to be brave in this moment.
He stands tall and strong.
Exhale.
My boy crumbled.
He crumbled to the floor.
He wept.
A few years prior,
This team of young 5th and 6th grade boys?
They crumbled with him.
They dog piled on him weaping tears of joy with him.
And then - completely umprompted- they ALL broke into song.
The Doxology:
"Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye Heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen!"
Then, they jumped up, wiped their tears, ran back into the gym and had an amazing second half.
What a gift.
What a gift.
Mundane, acute, all of them.
He provides a loving environment
for my kids to flourish every day. An
amazing group of friends that I hold dear.
Family that makes me REALLY appreciate my friends. (I kid….).
All of which I am so grateful for.
Even if my cancer outcome had been different.
Even if I had never been able to bear
children.
Even if I was living in a box
under a bridge.
Heck, even without the
box under a bridge….
God is still God and God is still good.
I need to keep reminding myself of this every time I don’t want to go to the oncologist for some unknown complication….when I don’t want to drive to yet another practice, when I really don’t want to make dinner again….when I see all my friends travelling over spring break, and I’m coveting their adventures….God is still providing for me. God is still good. He still provides.
What a gift.
What mercy.
Martin Luther has authored a Small Catechism
where he breaks down so many things into manageable bites and explains
them. The 10 commandments are in there,
as is the Lord’s Prayer, Apostle’s Creed is in there, as well. He breaks it apart and this is the first
article…from the first sentence and its meaning:
Creation
I believe in God, the Father Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth.
What does this mean?
I believe that God has made me and all creatures; that He has
given me my body and soul, eyes, ears, and all my members, my reason and all my
senses, and still takes care of them.
He also gives me clothing and shoes, food and drink, house and
home, wife and children, land, animals, and all I have. He richly and daily
provides me with all that I need to support this body and life.
He defends me against all danger and guards and protects me from
all evil. All this He does only out of fatherly, divine goodness and mercy,
without any merit or worthiness in me. For all this it is my duty to thank and
praise, serve and obey Him.
This is most certainly true.
Him.
For me.
His grace and mercy.
What a gift.
Saturday, September 12, 2020
This space
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Respect
Hopper used to plow. When we first for married, he started doing it for extra money. And then, it just turned into a way to earn emjust enough to meet our medical deductibles. Then it became a bit too much, then a lot too much, then he just aged out.
Plowing is young man's work.
Hopper was called by his guy and asked to substitute plow for a night. He reluctantly agreed.
Because he knows it's hard on his body. It's hard on his brain. It's hard on his regular work schedule. It's just hard.
But, he agreed.
Because, as a business owner, he knows what it means to have unreliable labor. He knows what it means to want to maintain a good business reputation. So, he agreed.
To help a fellow business owner.
To help a friend.
To make some extra money.
So, as I'm setting the coffee pot to turn on at 2am, I prayed. For protection for this amazing man. For this man who doesn't think it's a big deal- what he's doing is daily work. It's just what he does.
But it's something I believe is worthy of admiration.
And respect.
Thursday, August 16, 2018
Marriage and morning people
I'm married to a morning person
I am not not NOT a morning person.
To top it off, my morning person gets up at 4:45 am (yes, on purpose!) to get some paperwork done before he leaves for the day.
Every morning at 7am (ish), he comes to wake me up and kiss me goodbye. 95% of the time, I am still asleep when he comes in.
He's geared up for the day.
I am still semi-comatose.
Clearly, a great time to have a conversation! This morning went like this:
D: what's on your agenda today?
Me: mmmmmmpppppffffffff
D: are you working today?
Me: uuuuuuuummmmm think so
D: did you see the new football practice times? 9:30 to eleven and 3 to 5:30. You're helping JT at the 11:30 one, right? Are you doing all the others too?
Me: sooooooo many nuuuuuuumbers.
D: what are you going to do with the kids?
Me: we have kids?
D: what's the tee time on the calendar? You going golfing?
Me: what day is it again?
......
Me (again): yes....the orthodontist guy has patient appreciation....thanks for all your money, here have a golf ball.
D: I love you, have a good day.
Me: love you too. (Rolls over and dozes)
(He, on the other hand, is packed up and off to save the world- one well built house at a time).
Monday, July 16, 2018
Counting mine {482-493}
482. Summer
483. Returned phone calls
484. Invitations to dinner
485. Gin
486. Fantastic nephews
487. Family pictures where the kids play along
488. Being able to host dinner
489. Employment
490. Facebook marketplace. (I'll never pay full price for anything ever again!)
491. Friends with pools
492. Sunscreen
493. Fireworks
Thursday, November 30, 2017
Not great news ...
So, my friends....please forgive my faux pas in delivering hard news via social media- BUT I am coveting your prayer. I had an endometrial ablation last week, and pathology reports are now back showing cancer cells in my uterus.
So, what do we know? Well, not much. We are in this horrible waiting period between dropping the big C-bomb and a call from the oncologist. I do know that I can expect a full radical hysterectomy and lymph node resections. From there, pathology will tell us the official grade and the best course of treatment.
What do we need? (Besides a return call!!) Prayer. Lots of prayer, and I'm always available for free hugs. ;) Lots of grace for some high-emotion kids, and some safe support for my husband. I'm sure as this ball starts rolling, we will have PLENTY of needs, and we will not hesitate to ask. (This may be hard for me-please keep reminding me to ask). But those that already know- thank you for showing the amazing community in the body of Christ. You are His hands and feet, and He is shining Light through you. Thank you!
This is scary, this is hard, but God is near.