This is a different kind of Not Me! Monday- I'm mixing it up a bit. Here's a fun, but embarrassing story from the past week.
Last week, I was in a store, and realized I needed to use the restroom right now. So, I brought the boys and the stroller into the woman's restroom where there were two stalls. If the boys are with me, I usually go into the handicapped stall with them so I don't' leave them unattended. But it was occupied, and I had womanly things to do, so I was grateful that I didn't have to answer any questions.
I parked the stroller (and boys) in front of the other stall door (you know, so I can watch them through the huge crack in the door) and proceeded to go about my business. The rest is what you could have heard if you were a fly on the wall in that bathroom:
A: Mom, how long will this take?
Me: A few seconds. Please stay on the sit-and-stand with your brother.
Sound: toot echoing in the toilet bowl
A: Mom....WHAT was that?!?!?
Me: It was a toot. A...can you talk to C about school buses? What color are they?
A: It sounded crazy mom! Like an alien fart!
C: Anien fart!!!
Me: That's enough talking about toots, guys...let's talk about something else.
A: Yeah! Like how much it STINKS in here!!! Wheew, mom...WHAT did you eat?!?!?
Me: A, that's enough. What would you like to eat for lunch today?
A: Not what you ate! You stink sooo bad, mom!!! You're stinkier than daddy!
Me: A, that's enough. What's next on our list of things to do today?
C: ppppp eeeewwwww, momma! You tink!
A: Mom, it stinks so bad in here. Can I go to the toy department and look around so I don't have to smell you?
Me: A, I'm almost done. I'll wash my hands and we'll be on our way.
A: Mom, it stinks so bad, I think I'm going to throw up!
C: Momma- you TINK!!! EEEE WWWWW Ouchie Nose!
Me: That's enough, boys.
A: (gagging )
I finish my business, wash my hands and leave. Then I found a secluded spot in the store, and had a little chat with the boys about bathroom etiquette. You see, I was not the one having a BM that day, it was the woman next to me. I can only imagine what she was thinking. So, yes...this is truly a Not Me! Monday.