Tuesday, August 30, 2011

One Sided texting conversations with my husband.

As many of you already know, my husband doesn't text.  We have a texting plan....but he doesn't text

He's got a phone from the dark ages. 

It weighs a pound, and is at least 2 inches thick.

It's covered in hard rubber - which points to the old school "contractor's phone."

And he still manages to mess up his phone every 6-9 months.

Thank goodness for insurance!

Ohhh, I digress.

Anyway, he doesn't text.

He says that it takes too long for him to push through the numbers in order to find the letter he wants.

So, I text him, and don't expect an answer.

This is fine, if you're just relaying basic information like,

 "Orientation is at 6.  Need to be there at 5 to set up food.  Need to be home by 4:30 pls."

But.....if you're married to someone, say....like me....who can be rather obnoxious* at times....well, the texts can get interesting.  Here's a few of my favorites:

1.  I'm watching you....your fly is down.

2.  Made you look!  Ha!

3.  Wish you were here: Quality mullet sighting at Meijer!!!  Doh!  Plumber's crack too!

4.  YOUR son just peed in the back of the Tonka truck, backed it out of the sandbox (with beeps) and dumped it in the yard.  At least he beeped for the back up.  Safety first.

5.  Warning:  house is a mess.  Prepare yourself before coming home.

6.  You (.....censored.......)  and then (........censored............). 
Hey, I'm married....it's ok.

7.  Hey, aren't you going to Menards on your way home?  Can you grab some milk?

8.  Isn't is wierd that you can grab milk at Menards?  ugh.

9.  Impromptu GNO tonight.  Can I go?  Text back if its not ok.

10.  A. just told me he wants to be like you when he grows up.  I love you. tons.

Top Ten {Tuesday}

* yes, at times I can be obnoxious.  It is mostly funny, and sometimes annoying, but I'm ok with that.


Melanie {kevinandmel.com} said...

This is hilarious and TOTALLY awesome. I love your sense of humor! So glad I stopped by!

@ www.kevinandmel.com

Lynsey said...

I do the same thing. But your texts are funnier and sometimes my husband answers!

Anonymous said...

I really need to try this with Simon - though he does sometimes text back, but I could get away with so much!

Jolene said...


Kate said...

Love #9!!

Mama M. said...

Bwahahaha!! "Text Back if it's not ok"!!! That killed me! I love it!