Monday, June 15, 2009

Not Me! Monday

That's right, friends...another week, another Not Me! Monday. Believe it or not, I'm actually enjoying these. It really helps me keep some perspective about the fun in the imperfections of motherhood- since we all know (at least, we moms know) that there are MANY.

  • I did not wait until after we planted our vegetable garden to get my yearly pedicure. I do not go to the beauty school knowing that my feet need to be *sparkling* upon final inspection from the instructor- thereby guaranteeing me pretty feet. I do not care that it takes the poor beauty school student more than 20 minutes to buff the dirt out of my callouses. I most certainly am not *that* customer. (And I certainly do not do this every year!)

  • I did not give Colin yogurt with his lunch and not give him a bib...and leave him unattended to clean some dishes. I always remember that this is my Kamikaze child, and cannot be trusted. He did not dump some yogurt on top of Molly. The following picture was never taken.

  • Furthermore, Molly has not been walking around with dried yogurt in her fur for the past 4 days. That would be just plain gross and secure my spot in "negligible pet-owner" Hall of Fame. I have not refused to wash the dog because she's difficult to wash (especially with two boys trying to help), and "that's Dave's job." Not Me! Dave and I are a team and we are always willing to pick up some slack when the other is too busy or sick to complete daily tasks.

  • I did learn my lesson from the yogurt incident (that never actually happened) and did not give Colin applesauce two days later. I did not forget to give him a bib, again. Again...the following picture was not taken. Note in the picture, Colin's fantastic use of utensils! I do not allow my children to eat like cavemen, and we always set out the very best china at every meal- it's the only way to teach the boys proper etiquette.
  • Adam was not overly emotional in leaving the park at his end -of-the-year party for school. He did not refuse to have a picture taken with his teacher, Miss Lauren. I did not trick him into a picture with her by asking him to pose with his friend from school and then having his teacher move in after they posed. The following picture was never taken.

  • We did not skip church yesterday due to my waking up with a nasty headache. Dave did not graciously bring me water and Tylenol in bed. After the Tylenol kicked in, I did not sit in bed for an additional hour to finish a book due back this week. I did not hide said book under the covers when Dave came in to check on me. I was not secretly grateful for some alone time - with the monitor off. I always put my kids and my husband's need ahead of my own.
  • I am not working on my Not Me! Monday post while Adam sits writing out my grocery list and Colin plays "quietly" in this crib. I am always attentive to my boys, and would never think to work on my silly blog while they are in need of attention.

And a few things I did not say this week:

  • No, you may not get a toy in this store...... Oh look, a build-it-yourself foam tree house! Well, *technically*...that's not a toy. Sure, we can get this.
  • What, Colin?...... You need something too?............. Oh look, foam build-it-yourself people! We can make these kids to play in our tree house! We'll get this too. (Just don't tell daddy.)
  • What's that, Colin?.............. You want to go pee on the potty?............. Wow, I'm so not ready for that! Sure, you can sit on it...but I'm not putting you in big boy underwear yet! (really, I did say this! Can you believe that?)
  • What? You guys want to go for a meaningless ride in the car? Normally I'd say no, let's go for a walk, but we're driving Grandma's car this week...and using her let's go!
  • What if Adam does need surgery? Can we really afford it? Why do we need to have integrity and stand on our own two feet with private health insurance? Why can't we sponge off the government? He can live with apnea, right? Lack of oxygen has no side effects, right? (Those of you that know me know I used an extremely sarcastic tone when not saying this!) (This is actually a good prayer request. We have a Dr. appt. on June 29 to get him checked out- more postings to follow on that front.)

  • I most certainly did not abuse parenthesis in this post. (Not Me!)


Mama4Real said...

I always tend to make more trips when I'm using someone else's gas :)

My 15 month old is acting like he wants to start feeding himself... is it horrible that I won't let him b/c I just can't deal with the mess? So instead of learning to feed himself yogurt, he does NOT have applejacks in a snack cup, toddling around the house... *hangs head in shame* The second child gets so much more than the first did...processed food that is...

MamaB said...

Too funny!! Little boys bring so much laughter!! Great post!

Ebeling Family said...

we'll pray about the MIL just found out she has severe sleep apnea- she stops breathing 40-50 times an hour. YIKES!
I love NMM- really is hilarious what all of us DON"T do....

Heidi said...

I figure if you're going to have to wash the bib might as well save some laundry- The shirt is going to need to be washed too!

Rach said...

ha ha ha...nice Sandy. I do not overuse strings of dots.....because I am awesome at grammar & always know the proper way to write my run-on sentences.....right....