I'm trying to get things done, and the boys just aren't getting along.
Last year, it was the first two weeks of summer (trying to transition A. home from school), but this year....
Only last year, I could still refer to C. as a baby.
"Be careful! He's still a baby!"
"Be patient! He's a baby, we need to teach him these things...he doesn't just know them."
This year, with a 4 year old birthday looming, I cannot use the "baby" line.
So, I take a line from a Jodi Picoult book:
"Take care of your brother, he's the only one you've got."
I'm learning that this is only effective the first 40 times you say it.
(Or, perhaps its totally ineffective given that I've had to say it 40 times!)
So, the other day, A. pushed C. which resulted in a GIANT black goose egg on the side of C's head.
Granted, A. didn't mean to hurt his head like that.
But, he did mean to push his brother. Hard.
At first, I saw a flash of white- I was sooo angry with my son for his actions.
So, I bit my tongue until the anger subsided.
Over an hour later.
After I prayed for discernment, I decided to match the punishment with the crime.
He showed anger with his hands.
Hands are not for showing anger.
So, A. had to come up with a list of 10 things he could do to show love with his hands.
10 things to show love to his brother.
I got to choose the first one.
Here's his list:
1. (My choice) Give a hug
2. Make C's bed and mark it off on his commission list.
3. Feed Molly for C. and mark it off on his commission list.
4. Clear C's plate, cup and silverware from the dinner table.
5. Let C. play the wii for the entire 1/2 hour.
6. Give C. something.
7. Push C. on the swing.
8. Clean up all the toys tonight.
9. Let C. pick the show during TV time.
10. (My choice again) Say a prayer with and for C.
I think he thought of a pretty good list! He couldn't think of a #10, so he left it up to me. Which surprised me only because he already saw what I put for #1, and threw a FIT about hugging his brother.
The prayer was short. Very short. But...it was a start.
There's only been one other offense with hands during the past few days, and since it was only minor , so the list was only 5 items long (the first one I chose....which, again, was a hug.)
Is this a solution?
It is for now.