"Just because the light saber is pretend doesn't mean that it's a pretend whack on my cheek. That hurt."
"If your butt itches, you need a bath."
"Please don't beam your brother with the baseball."
"No...we don't poke elderly strangers in the private parts."
"Please wear underwear to school."
"Yes, we need to wear underwear to baseball too."
"What do you mean 'mommy looks like a pirate'?"
"Thank you, A. for pointing out that I'm 'almost thin'."
"We do not need to compare whose poop is bigger. No, we don't need to assume whose poop is bigger. Ok, yes....daddy's is probably the biggest." Gross (oh, the joys of boys).
"Honey, we use the BEATER to make cupcakes with the mixer. NOT the BEAVER. And, yes...when I'm done, you can lick the BEATER."