Actually, I was writing, I just wasn't publishing.
To sum up the last 4 1/2 months of our lives:
We left our church.
There's about a million more behind those four words,
but that sums it up into a nice tidy little package.
For some of you, its like no big deal. People leave churches all the time, right? But... for Dave and I, this church was the one we carefully chose 12 years ago to raise our children in, to grow old in. The one that we chose to spend our time, talent, and treasures in. These people were our non-related family.
And we left.
I have written this post about a dozen times, and tried in every different way to explain it.... in detail.... in vague terms.... but I had to work through the anger and disappointment before I could put it together in a tidy little package. Dave and I have committed to taking the high road through all of this.... closing our lips when we want to spit venom, praying for those that we are disappointed in.... so, it has taken me this long to write.
In true Pardon My Dust form, I decided to make a list of things I'm thankful for in this process. Because there is always,
something to be thankful for:
- For a rock-solid marriage. For a husband who reaches for my hand in the middle of the night just to let me know he's laying awake thinking and praying for our family- just like I am.
- For the perfect hug from my parent's friend at the perfect time.
- For a clear "no, I am not calling you here at this moment in time"
- For old acquaintances who journey with you... and become great friends.
- For time away at my childhood home just to enjoy summer a bit.
- For time to play with my portrait lens.
- For time to sit by the water and pray.
- For the perfect timing of a Godly mentor.
- For the good tissues
- For laughter that makes you cross your legs and makes your abs hurt- the next day.
- For the self-control to NOT send that knee-jerk email and NOT punch anyone
- For the perfect prayer at the perfect time.
- For boys who ask questions while they're processing things and grieving the old.
- For a toddler- who will have no memory of this before/after life event.
- For a new church and school.... who have gone out of their way to be welcoming and inviting.
- For the promise that, "yes... this will eventually feel like home."
- For the large families with lots of kids who make me look like a procreating under-achiever.
- For God to give me some time alone- separated from friends- to process and lean on Him.
- For the surprise "good-bye" to help our boys process.
- For the shorter commute.
- For the all-in mission
- For the burning bush moment
- For the invitations
- For the feeling of peace after worship.
- For open ears.
- For open hearts.
- For closed chapters.